I have a mom with viral meningitis who nurses an almost three year old. She was told not to nurse because she would be *breathing* on the child. Although I realize this is a questionable instruction on the face of it, I could not find anything educational or reassuring in my most often used literature- the BAB, Lawrence, or Riordan/Auerbach- none mention this illness. Any suggestions for something specific re: meningitis to hand the mom to show her MD? TIA! P.S. Child #1 called it "side!" (and, of course, "other side..." which could go on and on and on) Child #2 said "deesh", which evolved over the years to "dee-dee." My input on the Ferber discussion: I think it is illustrative to notice who's perspective is emphasised when parents are given suggestions for getting their children to sleep. If Ferber says to ask yourself how long YOU can listen to your child cry and use that time as the starting point, I guess that nicely addresses the parent's interests, but what about the child and HIS feelings? I have always felt the most helpful thing anyone could do for a new mother is to empathise with the struggle, and give support which encourages the mother to follow her own heart. What does she want to do? What does she think her child needs? Some mothers will be able to very correctly say that their child will settle down and be fine after a few minutes of fussing, or perhaps even crying. But if it is distressing to the mother, it very likely is a clear indication that something is not right. Mothers know their own children best! I think much of the stress felt by new parents comes from inappropriate expectations communicated from outside- from family, friends, and even the culture- magazines, etc. Molly Pessl made a strong statement at a recent talk saying that she felt new parents are treated in an abusive fashion by society these days, with such judgemental questions as "is he sleeping throught the night yet?" In my humble opinion, such comments, and also the Ferber guidelines, are a set-up for unrealistic expectations ultimately resulting in a disruption of the mother-child bond. In fact, I have a feeling that if we can continue the thread about mother's intuition, it will eventually intersect with the discussion about nightime parenting... Sue Jacoby, LLLL &IBCLC