Dear all: If a mother gives up under false information because others feel she should not hear it and if that false information is given to her it is going to become the reason why others will not even try or will give up. If she gives up because she is told formula is just as good and breast is not best, then that devalues all the work she did. If a mother gives up for reasons she has clearly identified and she is not patronizes with false information and if she is given support to see where her efforts were of value, she can mourn her loss, pat herself on the back for working harder than others who had no problems and be supportive of both those who do and do not make her choices. Women should not be treated as if they are not capable of making fully informed decisions. Why are we patronizing those that make agonizing decisions with "there there dear, it didn't really matter anyway". This type of attitude in the past has kept women from sports --- "there there dear, if its too hard for you that OK because women are too frail", from careers that didn't follow role lineations of the past "there there dear, if its too hard for you to work in this male dominated field .... " etc. We should NEVER patronize women and treat them as if they are not capable of making rationale decision - -- except in cases where we have clear evidence of potential child abuse. And my read of the WHO code, is that we should instruct women who lose one or more piece of the complex activity of "breastfeeding" -- which is far more than feeding at the breast. I'd say we have an obligation to normalize the missing pieces as closely as we can towards breastfeeding. That is --- replace the skin to skin contact --- a minimum of 160 minutes a day for newborns (at the low end of the normal feeding range) -- and also ensure adequate visual - eye to eye contact and auditory contact --- talk to the baby. Throw out those ridiculously manufactured abnormal feeding schedules. If you can't do it at the breast, make sure the baby is fed slowly --- initially at least 15-20 minutes with proper breaks according to the babies' cues and frequently, don't stuff them so the get down to some low number particularly not the 4 feeds a day recommended for 3-6 month olds in some books --- keep it at the frequency of normal feeding. The problem with Hanna Rosin's article is that formula feeding is taken as meaning you can dump all the other needs along with delegating the feeding. I say this because my aunt was a complete mirror image of Hanna Rosin --- only she was actively discouraged from breastfeeding. The amount of time it took her to follow the doctors orders for how she should prepare and mix and sterilize and measure the bottles was horrifying. At least then they did try to sterilize which no one now does for the powdered formulas which we know are not required to be sterile. I know my aunt would have breastfed all her boys to age five --- that was her style of parenting which was ridiculed by my mother and my other aunt. I don't see that her children turned out any worse --- in fact in the total sample size I would say they turned out better. I wish I had a microphone on my aunt when she described it. The longing and loss that was never acknowledged because she was not fully informed is a lifetime loss for her. But at least now she can name it. What will replace this for women who have been patronized is resentment towards those who do not deserve the resentment and resentment towards those who actually told them the truth. By allowing the falsehoods to stand, it hurts all of us. Think --- if someone trained very hard for a marathon or the Olympics, wouldn't you congratulate them for the fact that they were in that class of women? You wouldn't say it was a useless endeavor because they failed and exercise isn't all that healthy anyway. Best, Susan Burger *********************************************** Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html To reach list owners: [log in to unmask] Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask] COMMANDS: 1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail 2. To start it again: set lactnet mail 3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet 4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome