Oysters probably don't appreciate the grain of sand that produces the pearl either. Beautifully said Jane Ciaramella ----- Original Message ----- From: Rachel Myr Date: Tuesday, November 18, 2008 9:03 am Subject: broad brushes and the NICU thread, and a mollusk To: [log in to unmask] > First: I work in a tertiary care hospital with a Baby-Friendly > NICU with > whom I collaborate daily, to the mutual benefit of infants, families, > certainly to myself and, I hope, to the NICU staff as well. > I've watched it > evolve and improve over nearly 20 years and I know it's > fabulous. I also am > regularly frustrated by some of the routine practices in that > same unit, > especially around breastfeeding, and by the authoritarian way of > reacting on > the part of the hospital as a whole, about when it is, and is > not, all right > for parents to be there with their babies or to have opinions > about the care > they get. And this is a certified Baby-Friendly NICU in a Baby- > Friendlyhospital whose staff consists almost exclusively of > dedicated, competent, > breastfeeding-savvy people. The thing is, I still see the ways > in which it > can become even better. > > After following this thread, I'd like to reiterate what Karleen posted > earlier today. We have different perspectives depending on > where we are in > the world, not to mention where we are in the world of > breastfeeding mothers > or of the health services. I've read every post Morgan has > written, and > have not felt that any broad brushes were used, even though I > work in a > similar setting to many of you who have taken offense at what > she posted. > It baffles me that it could offend any of us to think that > parents notice > the difference between someone who is passionate about their > work and stands > up for babies, and someone who is just there because they need > the job. > > Nearly all of you have pointed out that staff who lack > dedication and > commitment to excellence don't last long in the NICU setting. > None of you > has denied that they sometimes land there before it becomes > clear that they > are unsuited to the work. If you are the unfortunate mother > whose baby was > cared for by such a person, your experience will be colored by > it. No matter > how atypical it is for the unit, it is *your* experience and > likely your > *only* one. It may be more difficult to fix on this side of the pond > because of the general shortage of pediatric intensive care > nurses and > because of protective legislation for employees in the public > sector. > > It seems to me that the strength of emotion in the reactions to > Morgan'sposts is a sign that those who are reacting are probably > NOT the people she > meant. Why the vehemence? Why is it so threatening to > acknowledge that > some parents have bad experiences because they actually didn't > get the kind > of care you and your unit strive to provide? More worrisome to > me is why it > is threatening that parents question whether a given > intervention is truly > in the child's best interests. If, as I suspect, we feel > threatened because > this field is so new that we can't possibly know for sure > ourselves, my > conviction is that parents are not only capable of hearing of our > uncertainty, they APPRECIATE candor and openness from us, when > it comes in a > context of true caring. Most of them prefer openness by far to > the kind of > pseudo-information we give to people when we just want them to > consent to > whatever it is we plan to do to them. Witness the accounts of > how parents > feel threatened into going along with things on maternity wards > and in NICUs > because they felt their pregnancy or their baby was like a > hostage, or even > like a prisoner of war who could be vulnerable to retribution if > they made > waves. > > Please, if you have hung on this far, look into your heart and > think about > what makes you react to Morgan's post. It might be a gift to > the families > you serve and to yourself, if you allow yourself to consider the > perspectiveof the person who isn't thrilled with their care. > Oysters probably don't > appreciate the grain of sand that produces the pearl either. > > Rachel Myr > Kristiansand, Norway > > *********************************************** > > Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html > To reach list owners: [log in to unmask] > Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask] > COMMANDS: > 1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an > email: set lactnet nomail > 2. To start it again: set lactnet mail > 3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet > 4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get > lactnet welcome > *********************************************** Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html To reach list owners: [log in to unmask] Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask] COMMANDS: 1. 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