Dear Rebbecca, You put it so well. "If you are not sensitive to a Mother's ideals and morals you can not truly help her, IMHO." There is a quote from a UNICEF publication which says the same thing in different words: "They won't care how much you know until they know how much you care." It's vitally important to our effectiveness as a profession that we listen to the mom's concerns FIRST. Her needs may not line up with our agenda, and that's something we have to accept. Martha Johnson RN IBCLC Eugene OR USA -----Original Message----- From: Rebbecca Rosen, RNC, BSN [mailto:[log in to unmask]] Sent: Tuesday, April 26, 2005 3:01 PM Subject: Meeting Moms where they are I have been reading the thread here on lactnet about the nursing covers with much interest. I must preface all of what I am about to say with the statement that I do sell these types of items and do have a financial interest in them. My main concern with the thread is that I do not feel that we are remembering where some of these women are in their lives. I remember quite strongly what it was like to breastfeed in public with my first nursling. I was petrified. We were still learning from each other. I was still having anxiety coupled with perspiration, palpitations, and a racing pulse any time my newborn would start crying when he was hungry. If was in public I was so worried about getting him latched on correctly without completely exposing my breast. I do understand that we should not have to worry about this. I do understand that if I sell these items I may be giving Moms the message that they should be covering themselves up. I do not want to give this message. But, I do know that to help a Mother you must meet her where she is in her life. I learned this in nursing school and never forgot it. If you are not sensitive to a Mother's ideals and morals you can not truly help her, IMHO. If you expect a new Mother to go out in public and latch her baby on while exposing her entire breast (which may be how she is doing it in the beginning) while she is not comfortable with this, I think we run the risk of causing this Mother to feel that BF is "not for her." I think we simplify things when we say that women should just BF in public with no reservation. Unfortunately, we don't live in a society that supports this. By all means a woman should be encouraged to BF in public and should discuss her options on how to do this so SHE is comfortable. I know some of you must have steam coming out of your ears right now. I just feel that sometimes we who want to do so much for breastfeeding want to skip over the baby steps that might be needed to making BF what it should be-free and open. FYI- I never used a cover but my son and I did sweat buckets under blankets for a few months. That is what I needed to get through the time when I didn't know if BF was for me. Rebbecca Rosen RN, BSN, CBC *********************************************** To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest) To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet All commands go to [log in to unmask] The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(R) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html -------------------------------------------------------- This message is intended solely for the use of the individual and entity to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is privileged, confidential, and exempt from disclosure under applicable state and federal laws. If you are not the addressee, or are not authorized to receive for the intended addressee, you are hereby notified that you may not use, copy, distribute, or disclose to anyone this message or the information contained herein. If you have received this message in error, immediately advise the sender by reply email and destroy this message. -------------------------------------------------------- *********************************************** To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest) To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet All commands go to [log in to unmask] The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(R) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html