> > >I was >disturbed by the observation in a recent LN post (sorry, forgot who it was) >that mothers know the benefits of breastfeeding but choose not to seems not >to be the issue but rather that breastfeeding is so overwhelming and >difficult. How true! > It was me :-) I want to add that a lot of the things we (breastfeeding supporters, and even experienced breastfeeding mothers) consider reasonable and normal do not appear that way for a mother starting out breastfeeding and running into trouble. Is it possible that some of us have forgotten how difficult it was to adjust to the whole mothering thing, or is it just that I was particularly slow in adapting? I had a long talk with my dh about this yesterday, which also included some laughter about how a good male friend had tried to join our conversation right when three women were talking about sensitive nipples. This was the Christmas party in which a mother who is bf her six-week-old baby and didn't bring him said, "I don't know how to do this. It is so hard!" Now, biting my tongue so I wouldn't say: "How could you ever / I would never" I realized that there were real tears in her eyes and that being a mother *should* feel normal but actually does *not* a lot of the time. Perspective is everything. I told my son, "Well, the only time in my life that relationships were really a problem was between the ages of 10 and 30." Somehow, he didn't seem reassured, although he is already half-way through that period! It's easy for me to say now that it is the love for my children that is overwhelming. I'm 46 years old, for pete's sakes :-) The challenges of raising a large family, breastfeeding a baby who can't figure out how to latch right, giving over my body that many hours a day (actually sitting still) etc. don't seem quite as unsurmountable any more... Sometimes they do, though, and I think it's nice to give back to a new mother who is feeling just as ambivalent and tired and frustrated and desperate as I am in those now-brief moments. My feeling is that these are the women who could breastfeed for more than six months if they knew what I know. I am just not sure how to give it, except to say, "You feel overwhelmed. I did, too, for weeks and weeks. Then it was ok, and by the time a few months had gone by it was actually good, and after that I realized breastfeeding was about the best thing I had in my life. Now, years later, my children are a real joy." Tell me why that wouldn't be an effective ad campaign. It's what mothers say in LLL meetings, and the new mothers who hear them have a better-than-average bf duration. But not everyone is hearing the message. Maybe if governments gave better funding to volunteer groups, there would be more LLL Groups, more Leaders, more meetings, more members, more outreach projects ... Jo-Anne *********************************************** To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest) To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet All commands go to [log in to unmask] The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(R) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html