I'm the mother of 2 boys and a girl - the second son, Alex was the one who years ago said he wanted to start a "COLiC" group - Children of Lactation Consultants - and posed the question "when do you bring up to the girl you're dating that you expect her to breastfeed your children?" Well...pass 10 years, my oldest son, Larry, is dating a girl who, when she hears me talking to a mom and asks "doesn't everyone breastfeed?" (That was a keeper!) Pass 5 years, Lynann and I have a great relationship - however, when the first grandchild was born, I was too far away (her mom was with her). She had some problems at first, but Larry was the supportive husband and would call me on the phone...they co-slept, he is a very active, involved father (bathing baby, getting up and bringing him to her, etc.) However, there IS pressure when you're the daughter-in-law of an LC...and even though she was still having some nipple soreness at 2 weeks when I came to the baptism, I offered but she said "Oh it's better." and she NEVER breastfed in front of me. Even later on, when we were out together, she went to a dressing room to breastfeed. But she breastfed Justin for over 20 months...and is a wonderful, involved mom who really enjoys her child. It's a pleasure to see, especially as I have so many challenges in my own work with the moms who have so many stressors in their lives they rarely take pleasure in just playing on the floor with their babies. Now we have a second, grandchild - a gorgeous granddaughter - and Lynann has still hesitated to breastfeed in front of me - but the Family Bed and their parenting still brings tears to my eyes... Now Alex is engaged - poor girl, has a lot to live up to - and it ISN'T ME! It IS difficult to not put pressure on the wives of our sons - our relationship with them must be more important than even this, most heartfelt of priorities. If we don't get along with them, chances are we won't see much of our sons OR our grandchildren. So the same rule applies with them as with our other interactions with moms - offer information, provide support, and RESPECT their decisions as being what is right for them. Jeanette Panchula, BSW, RN, PHN, IBCLC NEW e-mail address: [log in to unmask] *********************************************** To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest) To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet All commands go to [log in to unmask] The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html