If this mother's breastfeeding relationship is a priority and her lawyer has stated that he cannot help her protect that relationship, then this mom might want to consider the services of another lawyer. I have three children and was separated and divorced from my husband when the last child was an infant. The first lawyer I hired was obviously unsympathetic with my case--in fact information he gave me financially was beneficial to my ex not me (found this out much later). I talked to other divorced women and found a local lawyer with great experience who was usually successful in getting what his clients wanted. It cost me a deposit with the one lawyer and the new lawyer was far more expensive than the first. But I had someone on my side. This is very similiar to what I suggest mothers do when making choices about doctors. If you perceive that the person you are paying is not on your side or isn't listening to you, then it's time to walk--no run out of that office. I also had the benefit of hearing Liz Baldwin speak on this issue and used her information to negotiate the kind of visitation I could live with. I told my husband I was divorcing that I wanted him to have as much time with his children as possible. I told my lawyer that I wanted my husband to have as much time with his children as possible. I said this with gritted teeth because at that time in my life I felt the absolute opposite. I remembered what Liz Baldwin had said in regard to one parent denying visitation to another parent. When the legal system perceives that one parent is denying visitation in order to retaliate against the other parent, then they do not have much or any sympathy to the parent who is denying or limiting visitation. I think it is always important to make a first statement that makes it clear to everyone that the mom believes that the father should have visitation with their children. The mom is not denying visitation but rather negotiating for visitations that increase over time. For instance, my ex and I negotiated that the older children went with him on the weekends but the baby stayed only 2 hours a day during the weekends and that if she cried I was to be called. The time increased to the point that at 3 years old she spent overnights but still with the stipulation that if she needed me, he'd call me. It was complicated at times but it worked out and yes there were times when I cried about it. But I am ever so thankful that we negotiated this ourselves rather than the legal system. I compromised and at the time I felt like I had lost something--time with my kids. But in reflection, 9 years later, I think it was the right thing to do. Unless the father is abusive in anyway, fathers do need access and time with their children. And more importantly children need access and time with their Dads. Babies need some time with their Dads and single moms need a break from the intense parenting that goes on when you are by yourself. What is needed is a rational step-by-step time frame that is flexible to meet the needs of the infant not the parent. I therefore think a letter from a MD should first begin with the mom's obvious belief that a father should have plenty of access to his children. (mom tried this early on and Dad wasn't interested). But then I would discuss the obvious needs of the infant for its mother (ages and stages of development). This mother because she has to work for survival will have little or no access to her infant, if the father takes the infant during the weekends. I would discuss the difficulty of maintaining a milk supply with limited access to the infant. Many working moms use the weekends they are off to build a supply that has dwindled during the week because of stress.etc. I would not suggest or imply in any way in this letter that breastfeeding is a reason for limited visitation. Rather I'd turn it around, and suggest that gradual increasing visitations of the infant are beneficial to both mother and father. You know mostly I wrote this to publicly thank Liz Baldwin, who probably never knew how much her information/her presentations helped me when I faced the unthinkable. I really don't think we want to create the idea that breastfeeding is the reason for limiting visitation. Rather we want to create the idea that supportive breastfeeding practices and step-by-step visitation for Dads meets the needs of the infant. Many many thanks to Liz Baldwin, Valerie W. McClain, IBCLC *********************************************** To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest) To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet All commands go to [log in to unmask] The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html