Bravo Winnie. So often I hear, "the nurse (LC or both) just saw I was nursing but did not check to say it was right" or "no one offered to help." Being the good empowering female I am, (haha), I usually counter with "did you ask for help?". Surprisingly, the answer is often, no, I just thought they would help me. Then there are moms like me who write in their birth plan the baby(s) is not to be touched without my express permission and not to enter my room unless medically necessary. Haha. When the poor soul dared to ask if I needed help with latching twins, I asked what her credentials were and did she not read my chart---don't bother me. It's like my ob says, there are moms like me who tolerate the hospital birth but want the home birth experience and moms that walk in at 3 cm complaining because the epidural isn't waiting for them. It's hard to make everyone happy and even harder when the women don't even know what that would be. I don't think it is fair to "blame" the health care professionals for not knowing what the mom wants when mom herself may not know. I get just as many complaints about the drugs not working fast enough as I do moms complaining they were offered too many drugs. Go figure. Some woman like to own the power of their birth and their mothering, and some don't. I doubt any amount of educating will make much difference....We can't get moms to believe (and act accordingly) they can breastfeed and work, breastfeed for a year, breastfeed on meds, etc. We can't even get the majority of birthing women in the US to breastfeed for 3 months! I doubt the day is very close that they will believe a birth without medical intervention is a GOOD thing. The nurses/LC's that "smoosh" babies on deserve a break. They have what...?...minutes per patient? "Baby needs to nurse or else" attitude prevails. They can see what's wrong, mom is so drugged or tired she can't get it and nurse/LC knows she needs to have a feed or the bottle lady is next one in the room....so....smoosh and it's done. Feeding charted. Unfortunately it is not always possible to just let mom and baby be so they can find their own fit in their own time. (Oh, sure, in the ideal, but not all are lucky enough to have the ideal and some don't even know they should want the ideal.) Some moms do like the help and are indeed happy to have someone get their baby on and nursing. Next feeding they will have more confidence. The key is....ask permission. Never assume mom wants your hands on her breast or her baby. But don't assume she doesn't either. Explain and ask with an alternative for the no. If a mom doesn't want to be touched she needs a way out, and to know that there are other ways to help her. The truth is, sometimes it is really necessary to touch. It's funny, the reputations do get around and the same reputation is viewed differently by different moms looking for different types of help. So, those who sit back and verbally assist or gently guide might be viewed by some as "doing nothing" and by others as gentle and caring. Some might see a "smoosher" others a "helper". Never can tell how you are viewed....hummmm, should we ask? Take care, Pam MazzellaDiBosco IBCLC FL, USA *********************************************** The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html