Hi Kate :) Thank you so much for sharing your story on Lactnet. Even though I have had the tv on almost constantly from the time of the tragedy, I know that I have not been getting the whole picture of what it has been like for those living in the shadows. I heard that seven out of ten people have reported feeling depressed. To me, this sounds healthy. We are SUPPOSED to feel depressed when such awful, unthinkable things happen. You wrote: >I'm ashamed to say that on the evening of the day of mourning I saw the new >baseball movie with my ten year old and his friend. When all around us we see the evidence of destruction and death, it is not unusual to feel what is sometimes called *survivor's guilt.* We feel guilty for getting on with our lives. Mourning takes many forms. We go through the various stages of grief at our own pace. Sometimes the event the precipitated the grief is so horrendous that, in order to preserve our sanity, we use avoidance as a coping mechanism. Sometimes we just need a break from the mourning - and that is OK too. Let me share my own *guilty secret* with you - on the Friday after the event I deliberately switched off CNN and watched a movie too - a lovely old one, a fairytale, *The Ghost and Mrs Muir.* When I suddenly found myself laughing, I felt awful. How could I laugh when the world was about to be plunged into war, but the reality is that life goes on. The life force is very strong. How many of us took comfort by making love? And not only to take comfort, but as an affirmation that we WILL survive. Watching a movie with your son and his friend was a wonderful thing to do. I am sure that it helped to reassure them both that normality will return, and that is something they will need in the days ahead. We all do. Babies will continue to be born. Mothers will continue to need our help. The only difference is that now there is a new *normal.* Norma Ritter, IBCLC [log in to unmask] _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp *********************************************** The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html