Marie wrote: <Has anyone ever looked at who is the instigator in *dad can bond* by bottle feeding? Or rather the baby won't bond to dad if dad doesn't give bottles? Is it society? . . . . . .Maybe our society is still equating food with love.> Gonneke wrote: < One is that it is a very subtle input from the AIM industry (or am I a bit paranoia here?) The other might be a misinterpretation of psychological theories where bonding to the mother is seen as one of the advantages of breastfeeding, thus leaving fathers with the false idea that feeding must be the key to bonding or attachment.> While those who profit from bottle and formula paraphernalia (and pump paraphernalia???) might easily be suspect, the idea of misinterpreting about bonding and ongoing attachment goes even further in my mind. Even in the direct, exclusive breastfeeding situation, to speak of bonding as if it is a singular process misses the fact that there are at least two individual processes at work, i.e. the mother's bonding with the baby, and the baby's bonding with the mother. I can't help but believe those hormones pouring directly into the mother's brain and blood stream within minutes of each latching have a tremendous effect on the mother's experience of bonding. I don't think anyone gets that experience of bonding by bottle feeding. For that matter, I wonder how the release of those hormones when triggered during exclusive pumping, might somehow skew the associations of the mother by altering the time frame away from the time of skin contact with the baby. I still remember fondly the emotional reward I felt within my body, mind and soul from the long-term hormonal state of breastfeeding my fourth and fifth babies. I recognized a repeated pleasure that was such a contrast to my "fractured" 5-10 day experiences with my first 3 children. It made me feel certain that I was gypped out of something very special with them. 3-5 decades after the fact, I perceive they all bonded and attached quite well with me and my husband somehow, and both he and I with them. But my experience makes me wonder if dads are being sold a bill of goods that perpetuates a "bonding envy" as suspect as the popular theory of "you-know-what envy" in females! I agree with Patricia: < we need to push the other ways in which relationship develop.> Jean ****** K. Jean Cotterman RNC, IBCLC Dayton, Ohio USA *********************************************** The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html