Since I sort of began this whole thread on supporting a mothers decision to wean, I feel compelled to respond to the many posts. First, to Ann S., Welcome to lactnet. How sad for you to have lost your precious child, but how lucky he was for receiving your breastmilk. It sounds like you have a lot of experience in helping mothers and babies and thanks for pointing out your reaction to my earlier post, "breastfeeding and lupus." You are right, there is nothing wrong with supporting a mother's decision to stop breastfeeding, but not on the altar of ignorance. When I work with mothers, I support their goals for their breastfeeding experience, whether their goals are to breastfeed for 2 months or 2 years. I totally support a mother's *informed* decision. But, in my earlier post, my remarks were directed to a not-so-well-informed-family member, who's two previous weanings left her crying with grief and frustration, because her goals of breastfeeding were not met. She breastfed her second for 2 years intended to breastfeed the third "at least a year." When it got rough (maternal lupus, bad thrush, teething, sick kids), she called me and mentioned her plan to wean a 7-month old cold turkey by going away for a long weekend. Her doctor told her to pick between 2 formulas to "help with weaning." She then asked which formula to choose. I asked her if her doctor helped her with increasing her milk supply, and she said, "No, so I told her, "your formula--breastmilk." So if I had said, "formula XYZ" would that give her the message that formula was just as good? This is not the message I want to give. I wanted to let her know that there was an alternative. I see so many, many mothers battle huge obstacles just to provide breastmilk for preemie or ill babies. It's so sad to see some mothers throw away such a precious gift, all because of misinformation. My sister-in-law weaned her first at 2 mos because she chose to smoke 2 packs+ a day, rather than to breastfeed.(Emphasis: she chose) The second child weaned cold turkey, (despite my mentioning my concerns) as I mentioned. She lamented about those experiences. The third child's weaning is sure to add trauma to an already stressed family. My brother(6'4, tough-guy) cried when the first child was weaned too early. I've never seen him cry before. He pleaded with me to help his wife. I mention all this because there are many long, complex issues involved with some weaning processes, whether initiated by the mother or by the baby, as in a nursing strike. Certainly, I wouldn't respond so judgmentally to a client or other mother. I was venting on lactnet because the of past support I have received from other lactnetters. I have always found lactnetters to be empathetic and encouraging. Your response has helped me see that perhaps my post was a little too harsh. Thanks to everyone who contributed to this thread. In a perfect world, moms would never become ill and babies would nurse for as long as they wanted. Heidi in New Mexico *********************************************** The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html