Kathy D. says<5) I would be very wary of attributing lower libido after child birth to< depression -- this makes it sound as though all women should be hopping to<BR> get back to as frequent sex as their husband likes right after the< earth-shattering, life-changing event of childbirth (especially first< childbirth and first motherhood), and if they are not in the mood, they< should take anti-depressants so they will be -- I think it is a good thing< for the mother to be mainly tuned into her child rather than her spouse< after birth, and I think this is an opportunity for the husband to also< realize that the needs of the baby and the preferences of his wife should< come before his sexual gratification as well -- a time for growth in< emotional maturity for him?? I think this is where the old commandment from our moms "do your wifely duty, even if you don't want to" comes in. After 5 children, my libido was lower for quite some time after childbirth (don't tell anyone--especially my husband) and it is a common thread of conversation among my friends. We even joke that it is not so horrible to fake it, after all, don't we pick up our children and comfort them even when we are dog tired? Just one of the many "sacrifices" we make as women caring for the needs of others. I sure hope we don't have to all go on meds so our husbands can be sexually satisfied. I often wonder if all those sexual taboos were started by women as a way of getting a break for awhile. I also agree with the comment about the difference between libido and ability to reach orgasm. It is not so much that is not enjoyed if only she had the energy to start it. My suggestion as one married mom to another is often, if you are willing to fake it long enough, the desire returns. We joke that we forget how, but once reminded are quite happy. I get calls about this often because it is an issue. Most moms are so relieved they are normal and that it is something they can deal with if they want to or accept and be patient. As Kathy D. points out, it is important for mom to focus on her baby for awhile, however, many men do not see it that way and resent the baby for taking up so much time. So, sometimes women choose to "please" him. I hate it when a mom weans because "daddy is jealous of baby's time at breast and wants them back". Kathy D., I do agree and wish more dad's gained some maturity. *********************************************** The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html