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LACTNET  August 1996, Week 1

LACTNET August 1996, Week 1

Subject:

nipple confus,,,,,preference ? (long)

From:

Ruthy Wilson <[log in to unmask]>

Reply-To:

Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>

Date:

Sat, 3 Aug 1996 12:32:45 -0400

Content-Type:

text/plain

Parts/Attachments:

Parts/Attachments

text/plain (77 lines)

This is a late response to a post in response to my yet unanswered
questions for Chloe. How she/they guarantee 100% return to breast after
bottles...

my experience with a son on hyper-al, OG tubes, pacifiers AND bottles
(while cared for in nicu after birth (for 13 lucky days) demonstrated there
is NO SUCH THING AS NIPPLE CONFUSION BECAUSE HE BREASTFED AFTER BOTTLES so
therefore i/she must be crazy that it takes a crying mother 4+ weeks of
agony to try to get her baby back to breast after a few days of bottles due
to jaundice....I have worked with countless mothers post dc who nursed
fabulously in hospital and after first peds visit at 5-7 days after birth
were told to give a pacifier because the baby wanted to nursed longer than
30 minutes. I GET THE CRYING MOM whose baby won't latch to the breast
without a struggle. At the next visit peds asks what baby is fed she says
formula. ok that's nice, baby doing so well. does he ask her why she
changed to formula does he even know she changed ???????????

Does the peds office get "the call": "help my baby won't nurse any more ?"
What is their response on the phone, keep trying try this, nooooo, it's
give the baby a bottle. he'll DO OK--JUST FINE---WHATEVER !   did they work
with her in the hospital ? does he call back to help her with info to go
back to breast ? DOES this pediatrician know what it is like to have her
baby turn away from her Heart/Breast ? does he know what it is like to have
her baby scream at her breast every time she tries, even if the baby has
been fed and is content ? Does he know what it feels like to have the most
primal,deep, tender image of mothering turn to a nightmare of rejection
when your hormones are swinging from the rafters ?    The mom looks up at
us and with sadness says "he doesn't like me" "he doesn't want to nurse",
"i can't make him suffer like this....I can't suffer like this "..."I so
wanted to do this"...."look how well he takes the bottle"  and on and on
NOW  we say actions speak louder than words (yet we softly counsel her)
"no, dear he wants you, really he does"....does she really believe us and
"our kind words and support" when she has just felt the awesome power of
rejection ?????    just how long  how much support does it take to fix this
? I ASK ALL YOU WHO HAVE 100 % success....I've never felt this rejection
(yes even after weeks of bottles for my own son) yet my heart saddens to
see that look in so many faces...when the baby now eagerly\jumps the bottle
and all she has to look forward to is bonding with a double pump

(if she can afford it .......)

DOES her hospital have a free lactation clinic ? does she have the money
for the NOT-FREE LACTATION CLINIC ? Will her HMO pay for a Lactation Visit
or a home visit from a midwife (expert in returning the baby to breast) ?
Or does she/partner, in-laws, mother, crack open the (several) cases of
FREE FORMULA SHE GOT IN THE MAIL or the FREE GOODY BAG OF FORMULA SHE GOT
FROM HER PEDS AND HER CHILDBIRTH EDUCATOR AND HER OB/GYN AND HER HOSPITAL
OR DOES SHE HOP DOWN TO GET HER FREE WIC VOUCHER ? ( count 'em 5 sources of
"FREE" ABM )

So where is this Large Study of infants who ALL GO TO THE BREAST AFTER
MONTHS OF BOTTLES ? so what, we have a few adopted infants who go to a
breast months after bottles WoW how many ?????????

By the way my son "rejected" my breast after 7 months of nearly exclusive
nursing (after) his open heart surgery were he acquired a tonic bite (true
) due to a bypass accident we struggled for 7 weeks pumping, shield, sns
every-thing ! he finally took it at age 5 years !!!!! (by accident) when
he'd been off bottles for 3 years and re-habilitated.  so yes i've seen it
all and i have seen NIPPLE _________ call it what you like .......it ain't
pretty,it's not fun and you have to be highly motivated.  I ASK why risk
the chance of a baby getting What he really would prefer (and deserves) ?
if we hadn't thrown in a few high tech obstetric/perinatology wrenches !
get rid of bottles and i guarantee all babies will get at least a chance at
the breast.. and oh yes if they need to pacify they WILL USE WHAT GOD GAVE
THEM TO PACIFY WITH THEIR HANDS, fingers, tongues etc.........Whew i'm
coming down off my soap box fast..............

 SO if there's all this proof that nipple con---- preference whatever you
call it DOESN"T exist HOW, dear wise one's, do you do it ?.....We'd all
like to know !  by the  way i offer many options (not all at once ) and
modify approaches using lots of defusing words and encouragement and have
used all the gadgets (sparingly) but it takes special stamina and
persistence and i think all babies deserve a shot at it not just the one's
lucky to be born to Joan of Arc......(i do not imply that i am J of A i'm
just plain lazy and I'm not sure i could have safely mixed formula )

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December 2002, Week 5
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April 2001, Week 1
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March 2001, Week 3
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