So sorry Pam. This is my fear when I have grandchildren! Because I have
all boys! I think you are doing the best you can, and they have to do what
they feel is right. I would just try not to take anything personally. Just
continue to offer your love and support and guidance, and if they get
frustrated with you, understand that they are also overwhelmed and confused
and going through a huge transition and you are probably just an easy
target. So, I would just put on my raincoat and keep being there for them
as they allow and want you to, and don't let it get to you. Listen to them,
be there for them, reflect back to them what you are hearing them say, and
then make suggestions sandwiched between expressions of encouragement, love,
and support. That's what I would do if it were my daughter.
Good luck! I am sure you are doing great!
Sonya Shaver, BS, CHES, IBCLC, RLC
On Mon, Aug 15, 2011 at 1:50 PM, Pamela Hendrix <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> I am having such an issue with my daughter understanding that what I am
> teaching and helping her with is because her son is NOT eating properly,
> high bili, no weight gain. I only watch about 2-3 feeds a day because I
> have sensed her (and even more so my son in laws) discomfort with me trying
> to help them understand their baby is not feeding properly. Their first, a
> girl nursed 20 mo and never had a problem. Leave it to this 38 week old
> (7lbs 11 oz born August 5) home water birth boy to be struggling. Seen it
> many times and he won't be the last. Not getting that fat milk, hydrating
> really well, lots of wets and stools which, of course are green. He was
> checked on day 3, wieighed 7-3. Then on day day 7,Friday when I insisted
> they go to the Ped (had been trying for 2 days to get them to go)....bili
> was 20ish, they wouldn't tell me exactly. So on the blanket he goes and I
> tried to help with a plan. Saturday it was 17.7 and he gained 3 oz..
> Thanks to the plan. Then they relaxed, insisted because he was on the
> breast ALL of the time (red flag!) he must be doing better. When I watched,
> I said, no he isn't, sweetie. They were offended and now are telling me I
> have been too strong with them. (I have been anything but strong, very
> sweet, very gentle, just nudging them). So I backed off. Today bili is 17.8
> (they told the Ped he was on the blanket all of the time, not true, lots of
> company, her husband BBQ'd, he was off of it for hours) and he rarely had
> any extra milk because they felt they new what they were doing and I was
> just "worrying " them. I am at my wits end. I think my daughter
> understands now as the Ped has said, he must get more food, after every
> feeding. Nice....she listens to a Ped instead of me. An ENT appt is
> made...because the Dr said that posterior frenulum might be an issue, but
> maybe not. She told her husband it was all the Peds ideas because otherwise
> her hubby wouldn't agree to going.
> Just sign me a frustrated IBCLC in S. Florida
> Pam Hendrix, BA, RNIV, IBCLC, RLC
>
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