For those who have expressed great concern via posts, I will attempt to
clarify a few points.

Obviously, feeding, holding, cuddling, carrying, bathing, etc. is a part
of parenting.
If a breastfeeding mother has a problem with a low milk supply, and I
find that she is breastfeeding every 3 to 4 hours, I will advise her to
implement a variey of things, including some skin-to-skin, observing for
feeding cues and nurse at that time -- or nursing BY every 2 - 3 hours,
perhaps some additional pumping with an effective breastpump, and so
on.  (I do not suggest supplementing with ABM -- unless there is
indication that her baby is not getting enough intake as evidenced by
less than minimal output, weight gain.  Certainly, if the situation is
remotely serious, I advise a call to the pediatrician.  If a supplement
is in order, then I will discuss concerns related to giving it in a
bottle, and offer other alternatives.  The goal will be to make sure the
baby is adequately nourished, that her milk supply is brought back to
normal levels, and that breastfeeding be protected.  This will certainly
impact her parenting.

If I see a happy and healthy nursing duo who is not having breastfeeding
problems, who are happy in the "style" of parenting or more likely, a
"personally defined" approach to parenting they have setteled into, I
just am not going to start suggesting that the mother start carrying her
baby in a sling, sleep with the baby, nurse through the night , quit her
job to be with her child 24/7,  etc.  If a mother has incorporated
attachment parenting in every conceiveable way, and is doing well, I am
not going to suggest changes, either.  If this mother is having
breastfeeding problems...which some do, as lactation problems are not
respectful of parenting styles....then we work with that, and whatever
temporary of long term effect it may have on her parenting style.

So, to the degree that parenting is impacted by breastfeeding and vice
versa, in a way, I am offering parenting advice.  But, re: sleep,
carrying, etc. when breastfeeding is going well, I let the mother do
what she thinks is working best for her family.  My reasons have been
discussed in a previous post.

For those of you who are concerned that I am a cold, calculating LC who
somehow sneaked into the profession, I really am not.  I am a former LLL
leader -- and no, I was not kick out  :) --- I utilized attachment
parenting (I did not know the term until after my last child was born)
to a fair extent (stay at home mom in the face of severe financial
struggle, did not own an infant seat, but used a simple "front load"
baby carrier quite often -- I confess, my baby and I both enjoyed the
baby swing -- periodic co-sleeping, etc.) with my children --- even
though one was technically a failure to thrive as he lost 6 ounces
between 2 and 4 months, but thanks to a fantastic pediatrician and the
breastfeeding advice available at the time -- some throught LLL --, we
continued breastfeeding until he was 14 months.  My third child was to
have been breastfed as long as he desired, as I had planned to go with
baby led weaning, but a bout of cancer limited that experience to 20
months.     I endured much social abuse from the medical community (two
actually) as I was known as the "other" childbirth educator ...the one
who did not teach in the hospital and talked about patient rights and
responsibilties, squatting, birth plans, dangers of episiotomy when
employed for the "sake of the mother", the fact that there was no
support for routine deep suctioning of the infant, "sugar water" as
first feeds, and delayed breastfeeding, etc.    In nursing school, in an
list written by a fellow student student for the department newletter,
on what each of us did in our spare time, I was known for "protecting
the rights of pregnant women everywhere".   In my work as an LC in an
intensive care unit, I have encouraged our neonatologists to become
*proactive* in getting information about the advantages of breastfeeding
to mothers and also in attempting to get insurance companies to
reimburse for hospital grade breast pump rentals.  I have also been
given permission to start training nurses in the NICU in alternative
feeding methods......not a small accomplishment.

Re: what books have I recommended?  ( I seriously considered not
responding to this "question", but in the spirit of sharing ideas and
thoughts regarding approaches which might help our clients continue to
breastfeed, I will, even though I expect more than a few to disagree) I
don't do this frequently, and when I do, I try to match the book or
books with what I know about the mother, including her social and even
religious values, if this has come up.   I like Amy Spangler's book,
also Kathleen Huggins, and Pam Wiggins.  Over the years I have suggested
some of Bill Sears, including his Christian ones when I am working with
a couple of faith.  And, when I occasionally come across a mother who is
using Babywise or Prep for Parenting, and *if* she is having a problem
that may be related to breastfeeding info found in the book she is
reading,  I ask which version she has.  If it is an earlier one, I will
suggest that she take a look at the changes in the breastfeeding
information by examining the most recent revision, and also may
recommend she take a look at another book.

I have been taught as a nurse, and have decided to incorporate into my
practice, respect for the mother's cultural and religious beliefs when
it comes to parenting practices and breastfeeding (however the two
intertwine for each mother).   I believe that this has been more helpful
to my clients and their babies, and in my associations with the medical
profession and, in general, my peers, for the promotion of
breastfeeding, than to make as my goal the conversion of every mother I
meet to a particular "style" of parenting, and that includes my personal
approach.   That, I will leave to those who have that passion.

I have yet to meet any breastfeeding mother, regardless of the category
we want to pigeonhole them into --except perhaps a few who were "trying"
to breastfeed....and we all know the definition of "trying" -- who did
not exhibit a loving, caring, cuddling, watchful relationship with her
child.  Each just does it to varying degrees and in different ways, and
... one more time...as long as the nursing duo is happy and healthy... I
leave well enough alone.

I think that I have posted enough on this topic for those who have a
similar mindset to know they are not alone, and to share an approach to
lactation consulting which I believe supports the breastfeeding needs of
the mother and baby in the context of each family's values and
choices.   The exchange of ideas and information  is, as I understand,
the purpose of Lactnet.  With so many involved, it is clear we will not
all agree on every topic.  However, I appreciate to opportunity to share
and to communicate with others who view things from a different
approach.  It serves to help us consider the philosophies behind our
practice as well as keeping us up-to-date on medical and other
scientific information.

Best wishes to each of my collegues in your work to support the
breastfeeding mother and her family.

Sandy

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