I wanted to share a few of my thoughts on this issue.  Like Karleen, I have
also seen (and personally experienced) situations where the effects of
nurturing at the breast versus with a bottle are much more obvious.  Our
adopted babies have all experienced the loss of the mother who carried them
for nine months, but many also have special needs, based on their age and/or
previous experiences.  There are some very dramatic examples, where getting
an adopted child to the breast has made a tremendous difference in behavior,
growth and development.  I believe that, in these cases, nurturing at the
breast, even without breastmilk, offers more benefits than even a total diet
of expressed breastmilk in a bottle. We have seen children who have started
nursing at as much as six years old, after having spent their early lives in
an orphanage, and benefit from it greatly.

I have also done alot of bottlefeeding.  My first two adopted children
nursed a little bit in the early months but, because of lack of info and
support, they were primarily bottle fed.  I also bottle fed Julia for
months, before I figured out how to get her to accept the breast.  I think
it is misleading to talk about bottlefeeding, without some explanation of
what you mean, since bottlefeeding can be done in so many different ways.
While I don't believe that it is exactly equal to nurturing at the breast,
what I call "attentive bottlefeeding" is certainly an acceptible way to feed
and nurture a baby, especially one who was born healthy and is being raised
by the same mother who carried him.  When I have done presentations on child
care for adoptive families (probably 80% of whom are not a bit interested in
breastfeeding), I have advised that the adoptive mother try to be the one to
feed the baby as much as possible (and that the only other person who feeds
the bottle be the father), especially when the baby is first placed.  I
believe this will help to establish security in the infant, knowing who is
now going to be his mom.  Often, when a baby is newly adopted, the family is
overrun with well-meaning visitors, many of whom want to feed the baby
bottles.

Of course, one of the most important aspects of attentive bottle feeding is
for the baby to actually be fed by a person.  It is just assumed, in our
culture, that a baby will start holding his own bottle by six months old or
so, and no longer need to be held for feedings.  Even when the baby is held
while he is drinking his bottle, quite often he is facing out, not really
interacting with the person who is holding him.  I was required to take
Julia (whom I got at 6 months old, in poor health, antisocial,
developmentally delayed, and being fed through a gastrostomy ) to a
specialist in child development.  The specialist seemed to feel that having
Julia hold her own bottle was an important milestone in her development.  It
was one of the first things she would ask me.  When I said "no" she would
assure me that "She'll get there".  Actually, holding her own bottle was the
LAST thing I wanted her to do!  I believe that, under the circumstances, she
most definitely would have bonded more with her bottle, than me, had I
allowed her to hold her own bottle on a regular basis!

Besides cradling the baby for bottle feedings, I recommend incorporating
some aspects of breastfeeding, such as alternating the arm that the baby is
held in, for hand-eye coordination, and trying to balance the bottle on the
mom's chest, at least part of the time, to give mom a free hand to stroke or
play with her baby, like nursing mothers do.

Darillyn STarr

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