Hi all,
I would just like to share a milestone in my life.  I have been interested
in attachment and normal baby behaviour for several years now.  I knew in my
head that baby's were born to breastfeed.  I knew that the baby was geared
for survival.  I knew that a healthy infant has everything that he/she needs
to breastfeed and survive.  I had a growing recognition that when I was
coaching mums to attach the baby to the breast that it was too complicated,
that mum was doing too much for the baby, that the baby was not being given
space to do what it instinctively would want to do.

So - I stopped encouraging mums to shape, and stroke lips and noses.  I
began to talk about how the baby is born to breastfeed and it is the baby
who does the feeding, mum supports the baby's behaviour.  I began to see big
increases in the numbers of mums who were attaching better.  The number of
times that the mother had to attach and detach began to take a dramatic
dive.  Usually there was only 2 attempts occasionally 4.  If there was more
I began to suspect that most times there was a problem with the baby and
would look for things like oral problems, neurological problems and would
refer to the appropriate person.  Mum still did a lot of directing of the
feed though.

I would read the posts about attachment, neonatal reflexive behaviours and
began to more closely observe mums who had not pain on attachment and
compare them with mums in pain. I talked to others interested in lactation
about the topic and we shared ideas and experiences.

About 6 weeks ago, I attended the Queensland branch of the Australian
Breastfeeding Associations annual branch conference.  There were three guest
speakers who caught my attention.  Sue Cox - who shared the latest research
on instinctive behaviours of neonates. She talked about the role of the baby
licking, nuzzling, massaging and seeking the breast for the baby and mother.
Oh my, what an eye opener.  Something began to happen within me though.
Knowledge was beginning to sink into my heart.

The other was a home birth midwife - Vicki Chan and another lady , Nic
Edmonstone.  They talked from the heart about a womans ability to respond
perfectly to her baby and her body if empowered to do so and give the space
to herself.  I found myself weeping at just how intricately two humanbeings
needs are woven together.  The birth of my belief in baby's abilities had
begun.

A couple of weeks later the hospital rang.  First time mum, bleeding
nipples, none of the midwives could get this mum to have a pain free feed.
The baby was settled but I thought that there was no harm in going through
the motions of positioning, emphasis the need to keep the head free etc.
The breast went into the baby's mouth but it did not want to suckle.  Tried
various tricks but still not interested.  We took the breast out of the
mouth of the baby and it began to cry.  Mum settled the baby by placing it
upright between her breasts, skin to skin.  We then watch instinctive
behaviours in its most primeval states the moving to the nipple, massaging
the breasts, licking and just enjoying mum (still not suckling).  I pointed
out how wonderful all these behaviours were and how much mum was enjoying
(revelling is a better word) observing her baby.  I never did see the baby
attach but said that I believed that this baby knew what to do, she had
shown me she knew how to support the baby and when baby was ready it would
feed.

2 days later Mum rang me.  All feeds had been pain free.  Her nipples were
totally healed.  She knew that the relationship would work.

I felt that I had done nothing special> I had witnessed something special -
the birth of a breastfeeding relationship.  I had undergone my own birthing
process - an unshakable belief that baby's are not only born to breastfeed,
but are also born with the right behaviours to ensure successful feeding.
We need to listen to both mother and baby.  Yes some babies do struggle and
may need special support.  I am left wondering though at how many mothers
and babies struggle just because we truly do not believe with our hearts in
their abilities.


Off the soap box
Ruth Fiedler
Australia

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