Just a little story...

I participate in a mailing list of SAHM's, of whom about half are/were
nursing mothers.  One woman on the list claimed throughout her pregnancy
that she was "definitely" breastfeeding, and also refused any gifts of
formula or coupons from other list members.  Two weeks after the birth
of her daughter, she announced in a series of posts to the group that
she had "discovered" she didn't have enough milk (by pumping); that when
she gave formula, her baby vomited; that breastfeeding was "very
important" to her; that she "didn't have a choice" about quitting. She
also noted that she never had any pain associated with breastfeeding.

The nursing mothers on the list all jumped in to support her & encourage
her, all with sound advice -- cheering her on.  Within a few days, a
private mailing went out to all the breastfeeders, asking the group to
"stop harrassing and pressuring her" and to "respect her personal
decision to use formula."

I believe she was never interested in breastfeeding, but thought it was
the correct anwer to give to the world.  Thus, she perceived
encouragement as pressure.  I don't think her situation is uncommon.

I'm going to make a sweeping generalization and say that the typical
women who breastfeeds for any length of time beyond early infancy is the
type of person who freely speaks her mind.  It's easy to assume that
others are as frank and decisive, when really they are speaking in
euphamisms such as "I can't" when they really mean "I don't want to."
And if you don't interpret that message in that way, then you will be
labeled "pushy."

I think, however, it is better to be pushy and risk offending those who
are going to quit anyway, than to be demure and lose the ones who might
have succeeded if you'd been more authortative!

Debbie McCallister
Louisville, Kentucky

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