I think so much of the reaction against attachment parenting and
breastfeeding is that there is another option out there. get the nanny,
the long day care, the bottles, demand your uninterrupted sleep and
someone will help you get it.

We have no alternative for pregnancy (except surrogacy or adoption I
know) and so parents just make adjustments for the inconveniences and
the discomfort (and the joys and anticipation too.). They don't have to
do that anymore for infant feeding and infant care. Some mothers will
haul themselves through 3 months of nausea and vomiting and yet come a
sore nipple or frequent feeder on day 2 will immediately start looking
for feeding alternatives. It's similar to the epidural debate out
there.why go through labour when you don't have to? Why breastfeed when
you don't have to? Why put your career on hold for a few years when you
don't have to?

I think we need to think about these questions, not discount them.  I
have had many days of chaos and sleeplessness and pain and thought the
grass looks pretty darn green over that yonder fence!

And maybe it's because basically kids grow up, despite us, especially
when you live in a society where the effects of artificial feeding are
often fairly subtle to the untrained eye. My friends excelled at
detached parenting yet their children have reached school age alive and
"normal": they don't have 3 heads or are axe murderers..sure the asthma
has kicked in and the food intolerances but that's just what everyone
has, right? We need to come up with some really good (and
parent-focused) reasons why breastfeeding and attached parenting is
beneficial in order to help these parents see another way.

I think we need to be careful though that we don't preach attached
parenting as a "virtue". The way I see history, and my own
breastfeeding, was that it was just a way of easily and cheaply feeding
the kid, before slinging him up so I could get on with the other
important life tasks that had to be done that day. Breastfeeding and
infant care was just something I did in a day. It was important but it
sure as anything didn't monopolise my brain or my every moment. Many
women say they want their life/body back.breastfeeding and attached
parenting shouldn't make mums feel claustrophobic-it should be
liberating.   But then it comes down to changing society so that we
embrace mums and babies again as contributing members of a society-they
cant contribute or interact much when they are made to feed their babies
in a toilet cubicle! Meg Kingsley

Lay Breastfeeding Supporter, Dubai UAE

E-Mail :  <mailto:[log in to unmask]> [log in to unmask]

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