I have known a number of tandem nursing mothers who have experienced this to
some degree, although I was fortunate not to have those feelings myself.
Some of the things that seem to have helped:
- getting husband/partner or even a friend to massage your back and
shoulders while the older child nurses
- using the relaxation techniques that helped during labour (slow breathing,
etc.) while nursing
- singing while nursing (although I remember one child who put up his hand,
let go of the breast and told his mother "no singing")

I also remind people that many women who are NOT tandem nursing have
difficulties with their older child when they have a new baby. They often
find the older child's requests for attention irritating, they have
unrealistically high expectations of the older child, and they have little
patience with the older child's behaviour - things they may have just
laughed at a few weeks before will seem incredibly annoying. I don't know if
this is biological because of the mother's need to focus intently on her new
baby, or if it is due to our cultural expecations of independent children.

Teresa Pitman
Guelph, Ontario

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