Actually, the state of bfg in the US is much improved from the 'olden days'
of most of the last century. And maternal child health and health care is
VASTLY improved from the era previous to that, when women and children died
in droves during birth and the early postpartum. Now few die, and bfg rates
of both incidence and duration are up. We still have work to do because we
are still short of the target goals and because we could make the birth
experience much better for more women. But in the big scheme of things bfg
is going BETTER, not worse. Consequently, I tend to get bored with the hand
wringing that goes on about how the nursing moms we work with are "doing it
all wrong."
I don't rent pumps or sell stuff, but I do refer people to retail sources
for equipment. That said, I want to make three points:
1. While my goal is to protect and preserve normal infant feeding (which is
described for us as a species by feeding at the breast) I am delighted to
have good equipment to work with when a mom or baby needs intervention
(whether it be for an emergency or for a long-term solution that allows the
mom to cont. bfg while employed). I see improvments in pumps and pump
technology and in alternate feeding technology as useful. I see it as my
duty to stay informed about how these things work and when and how they
might assist.
2. While I may have mothered my kids in one way, and may enormously value
that experience, I have no right to tell any mother how to "do bfg the right
way", or to judge her if she choses a diff. path. She's not paying me to do
that, it's none of my business, and attempts to control others for 'their
own good' are fruitless and inspire resentment not trust. We are not the
the mothering police, but, as LCs, the paid servants of the mother. We
give good care and information, hopefully in a courteous manner that allows
mothers to receive new ideas from us. Then we go home and let her make the
decisions that her own life calls for. Remember: there's more than one way
to be right, and when a profession begins to be known more for it's rigid,
judgemental thinking than for it's purpose, that group is in big trouble.
3. I'm old enough now to have watched a generation of kids grow up. I've
seen kids who were attachment parented have terrible problems in adolescence
and kids who were in day care do just fine, and vice versa. You don't get a
guarentee that certain parenting techniques turn out a 'product' you will
like. What I have observed is that if bfg gets off to a good start (OUR
JOB!!!) mothers fall in love with it. We don't have to sell it because it
sells itself. Maybe the 2nd kid and the 3rd have it easier as the mom
matures. If you've been accepting and respectful of the mother's choices
(whether you 'approve' or not) you may get a chance to keep helping her
grow. I have clients who I've assisted with 3 and 4 children now. What a
gift to contribute to the richness of another's experience of being a woman.
Barbara Wilson-Clay BSEd, IBCLC
Austin Lactation Associates
http://www.lactnews.com
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