I usually lend the mom the Medela SNS video showing it's use.  Mine is in a
video mailing box and all she has to do is either drop it back by or mail it
to me.  I also sell her the LLL booklets on nursing adoptive babies, LLL has
2 different ones, plus the LC series booklet on Induced Lactation.  That way
the mom has lots of resources in her hands to see and read and discuss with
dad.  After mom has done the reading and seen the video, then we  have our
serious consult.
    Jacie in Albuquerque in the Great American Southwest, where we have
finally turned the swamp coolers off and are considering hooking up the
furnace.  Nay, too early!