Hi All,
I agree with Jack 100% about the money thing.  Also, I really beleive that
women who work outside the home are treated as badly as moms who stay at home.
When I was a stay at home mom with my first son, I was chastised all the
time by family and strangers "Why don't you go work for a living?"  I was on
welfare at the time, as I had no skills that could land me anything higher
than minimum wage and I didn't see the point of someone else raising my kid
while I paid them almost every penny I earned.  I used the system to get a
college degree, went out, got a job, got off welfare and then got the
attitude "How could you leave your son in daycare for someone else to
raise?"  (even tho he was at the center I was working at - I was a preschool
teacher)  Now, with 3 kids at home, when asked who my emplyer is, I say my
family.  The looks I get are great!  "Oh, you don't work."  "No, I do work,
24/7.  I am on call 24hrs a day 7 days a wk.  I take care of all the family
business (finances, and all those household chores), I educate my children
(homeschool), and I also have 2 other part time jobs that are not family
related." (BF counseling and transcription)  "Wow, you sound like you must
be very busy."  "Slightly."

OUr society needs to lay off the worrking moms, for making them feel guilty
for leaving their children with someone else (even if it is a family member)
and lay off the stay at home moms for not "working" to contribute to the
family income.  When baby #2 was born, I looked at what I would bring home
after taxes and expenses if I was to put both kids in daycare/after school
care and go to work.  $160 a month was all it would be.  It didn't make any
sense to my DH and I for me to go to work so (GLADLY) I stayed home.  When
baby #3 arrived, we again looked at what I could bring home (just as a lark,
since it wasn't even an option for us anyway) and we found that we would be
losing money!  THings are very tight financially, but it is worth it to
raise my kids myself, you know?

Personally, some moms make better moms when they work.  They are happy, and
the kids are happy.  If mom is unhappy working outside the home, the kids
know it.  It is way past time for our society to help new moms stay at home
with their babies for at LEAST the first yeaar, preferrably the first 2 yrs.
And stop judging people for the choices they make or the things they have to
do in order to survive and feed their kids.  Not every one is fortunate
enough to have the "I don't care what you think" attitude I have when
someone gives them crap about either staying at thome, or working outside
the home.

Sad when we can't just support everyone...

Jay
Jay Simpson, CLE
Sacramento, California, West Coast, USA
"No Miracles performed here, just a lot of love and hard work."