The very compassionate yet firm reply by our list mother to someone
seeking advice for her personal breastfeeding challenges through lactnet
set me musing about limits.

First, limits are essential to healthy human life.  Establishing and
setting limits allows us the freedom to explore and experiment.

Second, providing clear limits for a child or a group such as this  is an
act of loving kindness.  Enforcing those limits clearly and mercifully,
but without compromise helps us all to trust that this will continue to
be a safe place to share and receive support.

Third, the members of this list give compassionate support to
breastfeeding women daily.  We need a place to find refuge, healing, and
rest from the delightfully awsome burden of caring so deeply.  It is very
hard for those who ask us for help to have any idea of what price we
(gladly) pay to respond to them: Putting aside our own personal "stuff",
putting on the garmets of unconditional positive regard, respectful,
nonjugemental truth telling, picking up and sharpening the tools of
responsive listening, active silences, and therapeutic touch.  While it
is an honor to do this work, like every other laborer, I need the time to
put those garmets and tools in the closet, and just let down my hair.  If
I want to talk shop then, I want to do it in a safe place.  I am very
aware that this is a public forum, and I have no problem with members of
the public lurking or even commenting, having women ask for personal
support is different.  I was surprised by how much this ruffled me.

Fourth, everyone desreves to be treated kindly and with respect.  I was
dismayed to hear that this woman had received negative feedback from list
members.  I would respectfully suggest that we simply ignore such
requests in the future and leave it to our mothers to reprimand when
necessary.

Elizabeth A. Peyton, MD,family physician, [log in to unmask]