This is an addendum to the cogent responses to Jennifer's sigh of
frustration ("But jeez, I wish I understood where people are coming from
sometimes!") about the mother who abruptly decided not to breastfeed after
her baby was born.  My heart goes out to her.

The mother may also fear that the baby doesn't want her.  Babies often don't
just go to it when they have been through long difficult labors either, and
particularly if there was separation immediately after birth, as there
likely was with the hemorrhage in the mother.  She may be feeling extremely
vulnerable and not up for a perceived rejection by the baby.

So, Jennifer, rather than talk to her any more about breastfeeding, I'd
warmly encourage her to spend time skin-to-skin with her baby, especially if
they missed out on it right after the birth.  I wouldn't even mention
breastfeeding, just express sympathy at how wiped out she is feeling, and
offer the suggestion to do skin-to-skin as a way of enjoying her baby, and
letting the baby show her how much baby enjoys her.  You could also mention
that it reduces stress hormone secretion in both mother and baby, and feels
great.  It may be a good idea to mention the fact that baby may try to seek
the breast, and that if she doesn't want this, she should have a bottle
available in case baby is hungry.  (I can't believe I just wrote that!)

The worst case scenario is that they both get a nice rest; the best is that
baby self-latches.  There is no window of opportunity for skin-to-skin.  It
is a standing option as long as mother and baby are both alive.

Rachel Myr
Kristiansand, Norway

             ***********************************************

To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail
To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest)
To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
All commands go to [log in to unmask]

The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(R)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html