I decided to ask the mom that I've mentioned how she felt about being asked.
I have her permission to share her response:

-----Original Message-----

.....I was thinking back to when you were working with me
and as I recall we exhausted every possible reason for my inability to
successfully breastfeed...I do recall feeling a little panic when you asked
the *question* but I chose whether or not to answer. I think it could be
asked in a way that does not require an immediate answer, so that the woman
does not feel put on the spot...Which as I recall is kind of how you asked
me. It may be important to tell your group, from my perspective anyway, that
finally knowing after 4 babies, that the reason that I could not
successfully
breastfeed my babies could have been as a result of the abuse I suffered has
freed me of tremendous guilt....So since you are asking, I am thankful you
asked otherwise I would have had yet another reason to beat myself up.

[I also asked her about the more indirect approach that has been suggested,
and she responded with the following]

...... This kind of statement would have been too vague for me to feel
comfortable
enough to say...Oh by the way ....

Lisa Marasco

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