This came across my desk today. After I calm down I will be e-mailing this
author - hope others will also! --Stacey Thebodo [log in to unmask]
http://www.macon.com/mld/dailynews/news/opinion/12683568.htm
Posted on Mon, Sep. 19, 2005
Christine M. Flowers | LACTOSE-INTOLERANT
THE OTHER DAY, I was counseling a client on her legal options when, without
pausing to ask if I minded, she lifted her blouse and began to breast-feed
her infant daughter.
Taken aback and not wanting to interrupt the child's meal, I guided the
consultation to a swift conclusion.
There would have been no problem had the client asked if she could excuse
herself and take the child to our bathroom or to a vacant office. What
irritated me was the assumption that her right to nurse the infant trumped
any obligation on her part to be courteous and ask, "Do you mind?"
I would never presume to tell someone what they could do in their bed, in
their bathtub or at their dinner table. But what I expect and demand is
that people not force their own militant preferences on me in public places.
I actually started this piece at least three times, searching for an
inoffensive way to say it.
There was the sensible, statistic-driven approach that emphasized the
overwhelming health benefits of breast milk. Too safe, I decided.
There was the acknowledgment that nursing was a unique form of love,
representing the eternal bond between mother and child. Too cliched, I
thought.
There was even an attempt at humor, as in "I really need to get this off my
chest." (Who was it that told me puns were the indication of a deficient
mind?)
But the only way to say it is boldly and without apology, girding myself
for the onslaught of criticism from the La Leche activists:
Women shouldn't breast-feed wherever they choose.
If I'd said, "Men shouldn't urinate in public," it's unlikely that anyone
would vociferously object. But I feel the backs stiffen and the claws
unsheath at the mere suggestion that nursing is a private affair.
Infants are magnificent creatures. While certain specimens may eventually
turn out to be unpleasant (e.g., the ones who develop into adults like
Paris Hilton and Michael Moore), the consensus is that they bring joy and
hope for the future.
Without them, in fact, there would be no future. So it is important for us
to do whatever we can to ensure their survival.
At a minimum, they need to be fed. Newborns have a lot of time on their
hands since they don't hold down jobs, drive or fret about the state of the
world, so eating becomes disproportionately important to them. They crave
nutrition on an hourly basis, regardless of where they might be.
For nursing infants, "appetizer-entree-dessert" is wherever mommy happens
to be when the urge strikes. So unless nursing mothers agree to be trapped
in their homes for the first year of junior's life, they sometimes have to
breast-feed in public.
That's not the problem. Women should be permitted to nurse unobtrusively in
restrooms and other public places specifically designated for the purpose.
The craving for nutrition and the ability to satisfy it are natural and
beautiful, as are a woman's breasts. The problem arises when an essentially
private activity becomes part of the public domain.
There are, of course, ways to accommodate both modesty and utility,
allowing breast-feeding in certain areas and prohibiting it in others, just
as we do with any activity that encroaches on the public domain, like
smoking and playing loud music.
To those who resent the implication that breast-feeding might be as
annoying as cigarettes and blaring hip-hop, I say that bared breasts can
make some people very uncomfortable, even when a child is attached to one
of them.
There is also the option of using a breast pump to express the milk at
home, and then using a bottle in public. This way, the child gains all of
the benefits of mother's milk while society is spared the sight of a human
Playtex nurser.
When I mentioned this to a friend, she looked at me in horror and
said, "But then people would think I was feeding my child formula!" It was
as if I'd accused her of being Jim Jones on a Kool-Aid jag.
That seems to be the problem with many nursing mothers - it's more about
the image than about the child.
And at the risk of sounding deficient, it feels good to get that off my
chest.
Christine M. Flowers is a lawyer. E-mail [log in to unmask]
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