Kathy,
So beautifully well said....
Amy Wagner, BS, RNC, CCES, IBCLC
Sent from my iPhone
> On Feb 5, 2015, at 5:02 PM, Kathy Lilleskov <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> I have to say that in my opinion nothing trumps the emotional well-being of the mother. I consider it the most important thing contributing to the future health of any child. If a mother is troubled by breastfeeding to the point of it causing serious emotional issues for her, then she may have to wean and it is our job to support her through this decision and process. In my ten years of private practice, I have had to help a few mothers wean for their own mental health. It was intense work. It was sad work. And it was important work. To help a mother do something which she knows might have negative consequences for her child, so that she can become healthy herself and mother her child, can actually be ultimately more important than helping another mom through her temporary sore nipples or supply issues.
>
> I completely disagree that I, as a private practice lactation consultant, am there as an advocate for the baby. I have been invited in by the mother, to help her achieve her goals. I am walking through the door with her permission. I am there because she is seeking someone to help her achieve her goals. If I were walking through the door to advocate for the baby then I am there to achieve my goals. That is not what she understands her relationship with me to be, nor why she let me enter her home. It is my job to help her figure out what she feels she needs and how I can assist her. Many times when I walk through that door, I am informed by the mother that I am her last shot before weaning. And more often then not, we find a way to continue nursing that works for her. I just got a call from such a mom this morning and she is still going strong at six months after we sorted out her issues five months ago. She was teetering on the brink of weaning, in emotional turmoil. We found a path for her and she is passionately in love with breastfeeding at this point. That call made me feel wonderful.
>
> It is different feeling that I get when I help a desperate mom with a postpartum depression to wean. I don't think that I would describe the feeling as wonderful but knowing that I am easing her crisis a bit by forging a connection based on knowledge and kindness and empathy with this woman, is also a very special feeling. It is indescribable. I know that I am doing something to help shine a light into the darkness encompassing this mother and baby. Nothing in the world is more important than the need a baby has for the light that emanates from a mother's heart. Nothing.
>
> Kathy Lilleskov RN IBCLC
> Brooklyn NY
>
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