Hi all,

Leslie wrote about what she does and doesn't DO in the delivery room straight after birth and how she feels s2s is so important, without the pressure of having to achieve something.
I want to share a beautiful saying I heard last week from my cousin. She's a widow with two girls who are now 11 en 8; their dad died about two years ago, victim to long cancar (after bone cancer...).
She found a friend in a man living in her neighbourhood. He's a widower who lost his wife two weeks after the birth of their premature baby, with the elder son then 8 yo (they had lost several still born babies in the eight years in between... :-( ...) His son is now 16, his daughter 8.
They had been drawing closer together for quite some time, feeling the preciousness of having someone to share things with again, someone who also had gone through such a great loss.
You won't believe it... my cousin saw how her friend wasn't feeling well couple of months ago. Turned out he had intestinal cancer... :-(
It was a roller coaster they went through. She described it as standing on a very small, very narrow bridge with an incredibly wild raging river running underneath.
Several difficult situations occurred with the in-laws on both sides, the sides of the deceased partners. All of it made everything extremely complicated for the couple that was still finding their way.
He was operated, operated again and once again due to complications and almost didn't make it. They were about to start chemo and radiation and now... doctors have found that he is clean!
There is no need for more treatments! They were preparing for a difficult year and now suddenly they have a whole new perspective, for his life AND for their relationship.

My cousin was so tired and sad and relieved and angry and happy and... well, you know how you can feel under difficult circumstances with adrenaline rushing through your veins.
She hardly knew what to do and what not to do. She happened (?!) to attend a lecture from someone a week or two ago and she picked up the saying I think is also relevant to our field.
The lady giving the presentation said: "Sometimes you just have to calm down and let it be. You are not a humen DOING, you are a humen BEING!"

Warmly,

Marianne Vanderveen IBCLC, Netherlands

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