I have enjoyed the comments of others on this subject and thought I'd
add my 2 cents.
My husband "fell in love" with his children watching them at the
breast. He didn't envy me he envied them because of the special
relationship they had with their mother. Never did he want to take
that away from his children so that he could "bond" with them.
I also feel that some mothers INADVERTENTLY make dads feel left out.
I have many times heard mothers complain that dad doesn't help only
to listen more about the situation and find that mother takes over
because dad is "doing it wrong".  One mother was sure that dad made
the baby cry or at least couldn't stop the crying, so she took over.
When I asked her if the baby immediately stopped crying when she took
the baby her reply was "no".  After discussing this a while I
suggested that she just let dad and baby be. He will bond with his
child in his own way even if "he doesn't do it right" according to
mother.
It's Interesting that we are all for people letting mothers have
their mothering without intervention but it's all too easy to forget
that intervention can hinder father/child relationships too.  Let's
trust our dad's out there and give them a fair chance.

Lauren WIC Peer counselor

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