Dear All, I have just posted a note from Barbara Wilson Clay, and cc'd
Valerie on it...and I am going to hope that things go well from here,
and that this week on Lactnet is quiet...and settled. ..and that they
both consider rejoining, with the admonition that people must behave,
adhere to the list, and give their fellow listmates the benefit of the
doubt.

This week I am going to do the many deeds that need doing to get an 80
year old person moved into assisted care, setting up phone, cable tv,
changing addresses, getting oxygen moved, etc. I will not be reading
email closely, because I simply can't. I have a close friend starting
chemo tomorrow for breast cancer, and am on call for her and her family
as well.  Please bear with me and the other listmothers as we move
through the upcoming time.

Think before you hit the send key. Communicate effectively but not
rashly. Give the person the benefit of the doubt if you are angry. Be
passionate but not rude. Write email at night. Send in the am. See if
you can get things across in another way if the way you are using isn't
working.  Be frank but not hurtful.  In short, mind your Ps and Qs...and
make us all proud of every post that comes out of here, because it
reflects on you AND me. And remember who your friends are.

All the Lactnet people are like facets of a huge diamond.  We may not be
on the same plane, but we *can* add to the sparkle just the same.

And please, don't say anything to anyone that you would not say directly
to their face, whether on email or on this or any other list. Thomas
Friedman, in his latest book (he is an Op Ed writer for the NY Times)
says that email and technology has not civilized us...it has improved
our ability to communicate quickly, but has made us less able or willing
or both to see another person's viewpoint.

In his book, Longitudes and Attitudes, (which my teenaged college
daughter sent to me from Vassar), Thomas Friedman writes, " We are all
right up in each other's face now, with no walls from behind which we
can refine our messages at home, or scream to outselves in private and
then communicate calmly with each other. Instead, I write something in a
white-hot rage and it gets right into someone's face....and then they
write back in a white hot rage, and we both end up angrier than we
imight have been had we not been so easily connected. It's making the
whole world's blood pressure rise in a very dangerous and unhealthy
manner. All this leaders to the deeper point ...: that while the world
is being globalized, shrunk, and tied together ever more closely in
technological terms, this has not been accompanied by a better mutual
understanding between cultures, countries, and civilizaztions. There is
a mismatch. We are technologically closer-and culturally ...as far apart
as ever, ..Maybe the Internet, fiber optics, and satellites really are,
together, like a high tech Tower of babel. It's as though God suddenly
gave us all the tools to communicate and none of the tools to
understand."

Prove him wrong, will you? And if you want to talk to listmother team,
it is at [log in to unmask] Thanks...and wish me
luck.

Kathleen Bruce RN IBCLC

Kathleen Bruce RN IBCLC
Independent consultant: Breastfeeding Clinic of Vermont, Lactation
Resources of Vermont, Medela, Inc.
Listowner Lactnet listserv
[log in to unmask]
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