Oh, how I love this discussion! This comes up so often with the mothers I meet in the hospital. They are so worried about offering both sides and getting hindmilk to the baby and doing it "right" that they don't enjoy the baby as much as they could.
I draw from my experience with my own three boys. Baby #1 was born in a hospital with rigid rules of only a few minutes a side the first day, a few ore the next etc. but never more than 10 minutes per side. Baby #1 was not happy with that schedule and I found myself "cheating" on the book they had given me and nursing 10 minutes the first side and several 10 minutes episodes on the second side until he was happy. After awhile that was too annoying so I let him nurse until he slowed down and switched to nurse until he quit. Baby #2 was the baby made for that book, as he was all business, hardly stopped to breath and was done with both sides in a total of 20 minutes. (Naturally, since that was different form his brother, I was sure he couldn't possibly gain well - but of course he did ;-/) Baby #3 was on average a 30 minute feeder but I didn't bother to track minutes because I was too busy with the older two or was nursing in a carrier while teaching preschool. ( a story for another time.)
These days I remind new mothers that babies don't know how many "sides" there are so try to do the best job at the first breast and if he falls asleep but wakens when moved offer the other side if he acts interested. I, too, use the "meal - dessert" analogy, encouraging the mother to let the baby have as much of the meal as he wants and then, as a good hostess, offer the other side as dessert, where he can have as much or as little as he pleases. When they worry about hindmilk, I assure them that by letting the baby eat for as long as he stays actively sucking, he gets into the hindmilk. I also remind her that "let-downs" happen at both breasts, so the second side will start out higher in fat than the first side. (Hartmann's research) I also remind them that just like adults on a Saturday, when they can eat when they want and as often as they want, every day is Saturday for a baby and it's OK for him to go back and forth a few times during a feeding, having some of this and some of that until he's full. Mom's are soooo tired in those first few days, I find analogies work very well at making a point.
Cindy Garrison BS IBCLC
practicing in Pittsburgh, PA
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