This was always one of my biggest complaints when I was working in the
hospital.  It really needs to be addressed well before the delivery.  I
always made it a point in the prenatal class to talk about the visitor
issue.  After encouraging 24 hour rooming-in and frequent nursing, I would
ask, "What do you think is the biggest obstacle to mom getting rest after
delivery?"  Some would say the nurses, some would say baby, but I could
always count on at least one tentatively saying, "visitors?"  Then I would
go into my "spiel".  I would acknowledge that it feels great to have
everyone "ooh" and "aah" over the baby, and moms usually love to relate
their birthing experience.  However, in the short time she is there after
the birth, her primary tasks are to learn how to care for herself and baby
and to begin her recovery, a big part of which is rest.  I liked to say that
one of the primary tasks of Dad (or whoever her primary support person is)
in those couple days is to be the gatekeeper.  Sometimes it might involve
asking visitors to wait until they've been home a while, sometimes it might
mean "escorting" them to the waiting room or coffee shop so mom can nurse or
rest.  I also encouraged them to talk with their potential visitors BEFORE
the birth.  Let them know that they will be anxious to show off the baby,
but please give them some time to adjust to the new family before visiting.
This is certainly one case where it is an advantage not to have lots of
family close by.  I knew of one couple with many relatives and friends all
of whom felt they should be among the first to see the new baby.  They
actually put all the names in a jar and had a drawing for the few that would
be invited to visit in the hospital.  The others were told they would get a
call when the new family was ready for more company.

 

Winnie


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