This is in reference to the recent discussion on why some mothers refuse breastfeeding help. This may seem like I got hold of the wrong end of the stick - but please bear with me :)

Somebody made a point about how some mothers are inundated with unhelpful and inaccurate advice from well-wishers. Each one insists that only s/he has the "real" answer until the poor mother screams "ENOUGH!" Pity the poor LC who is the next one to appear on the scene! Sometimes the poor advice comes from books or pamphlets the mother has read during her pregnancy, but the result is the same, and sometimes even worse, because a lot of weight is put on the written word.

Obviously, this is where counselling skills come into play :)

I have found it helpful to first try to calm the mother, and then to reassure her that she is indeed THE expert on THIS baby. She has the right to do what SHE thinks is best. I encourage her to listen to everyone and then to think about what they have said.

In particular, I suggest that she consider the source of the advice. Does this come from somebody who had a happy or an unsatisfactory breastfeeding experience? Was the book or pamphlet sponsored by a company that would benefit financially if she ended up not breastfeeding? What kind of training did her advisor have? At this point the mother often has an "AHA!" moment. Getting the mother to see you as an ally is half the battle :)

This FAQ from the LLLI website offers a very practical and down to earth approach: "How do I respond to and avoid criticism about breastfeeding?" http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/criticism.html

norma, who highly recommends the LLL-sponsored counselling courses.

Norma Ritter, IBCLC, RLC,
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