Laurie asked,
<< But I felt like she really didn't want this help and would rather
have been left alone. How do you all handle such situations?>>

I tend to generally do what the mom wants.  I will go as far as I feel
like she will let me go in helping her, but if I get the "go away"
vibes, I usually cheerfully tell her to give me a call if she needs any
more help.  I don't want to force my services on anyone, though I will
usually try to say something in an upbeat way like, "you know, some moms
find that they experience less pain if they rearrange the baby a little.
I'd be happy to show you a few different positions if you like."  Then I
go with their answer.  NOW, having said that, I recently had a mother
who had her second baby (and was still tandem-brfeeding her first!) who
gushed enthusiastically about the help I gave her with her first.  In
fact, she wrote a letter on my behalf after I lost my job and what she
said surprised me.  She said that during the 3 hours I spent helping her
to get her first baby breastfeeding, she was stressed out because her
baby was a 36 weeker and sleepy and I stayed until we got her awake and
feeding.  She said what she really wished at the time was that I would
just go away so she could give her baby a bottle.  (I must not have
thought she seriously felt that way, or I probably would have.)  She
said my tenacity is what turned the tide for them and she has been
grateful ever since.  She said a less assertive person probably would
have resulted in her bottle feeding her daughter!  So, don't be too
quick to "just go away", unless you have a good sense that staying will
only alienate the mother or not accomplish anything anyway as far as
feeding goes.

Marsha

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