I was quite pleased to read about the outcome (so far) of the Houston Ronald
MacDonald House story. After a meeting with higher-level administrators of
RMH, the nursing mothers will be welcome to nurse in the common room, but
they had to agree that they would tell others in the room before beginning
that they were going to nurse, and they agreed to make an effort to be
"discreet," according to their own definition of "discreet." The RMH people
agreed to discuss the issue further. They would have to take it up with
their board before making this new "rule" into a policy that would apply to
nursing moms generally. For now it is an agreement between the two moms and
the RMH.

What happens in the future will depend partly upon how other parents in the
house feel about what the breastfeeding families do in the common room. If a
lot of people complain, it could be a problem. If just one person complains,
the RMH management will explain that they support bf and ask the complainer
to say more about why it's a problem for them. I like this resolution
because it does respect the feelings of the other parents at RMH and gives
them a chance to get into the discussion. 

When you analyze NIP (nursing in public) stories, there are often three
interested parties involved: the mother/baby, the person in authority, and
the bystander who is being "protected" by the person in authority. So, for
instance, a mall security guard says to a nursing mom, "People have
complained," or a disgusted mother says, "I don't want my children to see
THAT!" 

Well, there at the RMH you have a lot of parents under stress, with children
that they want to protect, and there are probably lots of things they wish
their kids didn't have to see: other kids with scars or bandages or
amputations or no hair or tubes sticking out of their noses. And they have
to explain all this to their kids and reassure them about these scary
sights. The sight of a nursing toddler might just push somebody over the
edge of her or his stress quota for that day, and I think the nursing moms
should be sensitive to that reality. 

I am all in favor of the right to nurse in public. In U.S. culture, though,
it would be a new experience for most people to see toddler twins at the
breast. It's only smart for the mothers to be cognizant of those other
people's feelings. If the scene can unroll with civility and politeness,
then that might smooth over the uneasy feelings of the observer. 

Chris Mulford, RN, IBCLC
LLL Leader Reserve
Working for WIC in South Jersey (Eastern USA)
Chair, Workplace Bf Support Committee, USBC
Co-coordinator, Women & Work Task Force, WABA
 
 

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