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Subject:
From:
"Jane A. Bradshaw" <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Sun, 1 Sep 1996 00:40:07 -0400
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In a message dated 96-08-31 00:32:00 EDT, you write:

>Now, what are the chances of success for the mother of a 29 months old
>still breastfeeding to relactate for the adopted baby of a friend ? Baby
>has cleft palate, and would certainly benefit from BM. However, the bfing
>friend works full-time, and kid takes the breast from once (rarely) to
>four times a day (on week-end), most often twice a day on week days.
>Adopting mother never had babies, thus never breastfed. The friend will
>try only if chances of success are good, with not too much effort, as she
>is quite busy with job, other children and housekeeping. You opinion ?

Louise,
I agree with Linda Smith that there is no way you will be able to tell in
advance how much milk the mother will be able to make.  I am assuming that
you mean the friend would only pump milk for her friend's adopted baby, and
not actually nurse it. It would be good if the adopting mother also worked on
relactation.  I have never had a failure yet were the mother did not produce
at least some milk--even without ever having a pregnancy.   There have been
groups of mothers in my area that have donated milk for babies in special
situations privately.  They have usually made these arrangements themselves
and I only become aware of them when someone in the group calls me with a
specific question. This is another very delicate situation and in addition to
talking with these mothers about the actual milk production, they need to be
informed of the other issues involved.
The donating mother could certainly produce SOME milk and donate it to her
friend. Any amount of breastmilk would be a benefit.   If she really wanted
to produce a lot of milk she would have to try hard and do lots of pumping to
try to stimulate her production.  This would be time consuming.   If she did
a lot of pumping and did not produce much milk, she could be disappointed and
possibly resentful at all the time she  devoted to this project. This could
hurt the friendship.  The adopting mother would need to understand how much
effort her friend was putting into this and be appropriately grateful.
  Although many professionals discourage "cross-nursing" or "wet nursing", it
is being done and we often have to answer questions for these mothers.

These are the issues I feel the mothers need to discuss and feel comfortable
with:

1.  The fact that this is an intimate exchange of body fluids.  Germs are
exchanged as they would be in any breastfeeding relationship.   Germs are
exchanged as intimately as with kissing or other sexual contact.  If she only
pumps and donates the milk this is a one way street.  If she actually nurses
the friends baby it is a two way street.
2.  The cleanliness and hygiene of every person involved in this exchange.
3.  The health of everyone involved.  They must be TOTALLY comfortable with
each other.  Risk factors for HIV and Hep C, etc?   If baby gets sick, will
she blame the mother who donated the milk?  If she actually ever nurses the
baby --has it been tested?  Any mother who nurses this baby is being exposed
to the baby's germs.  What was the health of the biological mother?  (I have
started to ask this of all the moms who come to me for adoptive nursing info.
 Some of the biological moms have had less than desirable lives--higher risk
than we would like )
4.  The amount of effort each person is willing to give.  Donating moms can
get angry and resentful if they feel pressured to make more milk, or provide
milk longer than they feel they have the energy or time to do this.
5.  The length of time each person is willing to do this.
6.  Each mother's own family's needs.
7.  The value of mother's milk.  The value is tremendous as you all know,
even for small amounts.  Remind the moms of that.  Have they considered
banked milk?  Even for a short time?

I have seen these situations work beautifully, where 1 or more mothers
donated milk to a friend in need for her baby.  I have also seen terrible
situations where people ended up not speaking.

If more mothers brestfeed and value brestmilk, we are going to hear about
situations like this more and more often.  I think it is unreasonably
complicated and expensive to send everyone to a milk bank, although every
mother should be informed of this option.  If they have a healthy friend who
they feel totally comfortable with and is willing and able to produce and
donate milk, they have the right to do this.   I have some moms who just pump
gallons of milk and give that away to their friends.   With all the diseases
out there we do need to be cautious, prudent,  and accurate with our
information.  But lets not miss the point!

Jane Bradshaw LLLL, BSN, IBCLC
Private Practice in Lynchburg, Vinginia

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