Jessica,

At 71, I cannot imagine ever having taken a child of mine to work in a
hospital and trying to get anything done. I can, however, relate to your
strong need for the adult mental stimulation of helping out someone who
would not get the same brand of help from someone else.

I, myself, needed to be out there, at least part time, using my
profession, for the sake of my own mental health. That's why it worked
out so well for me and my husband to work different shifts. All the time
my kids spent relating to their dad was contributing to memories and
lifelong bonding with him.

Whereas any relating to a babysitter, even with a friendly, kind hearted,
long-time neighbor whom they loved, but especially when I later had to
change frequently, was ultimately like so much time spent at drive-in
windows or with supermarket cashiers. Here today, gone tomorrow.

But I do have one comment that might help.

< Don't you all lean
over moms to help them?>

There is much that can be done by way of demonstration by standing to the
side and slightly behind the moms, such as demonstrating fingertip
extraction, etc., even some helping with latching. In that position, your
hands are pretty much in the same plane as the mother's hands, and your
view is often closer to her perspective.

Also, a lot of finding out where the mother "is", by questioning her and
active listening and feeding back what you think she says is troubling
her, then explaining things like what the MER is, and how important it is
in milk transfer, etc., off-center latch, etc.etc. could be done while
you are sitting across from her role-modeling listening to your baby, and
nursing her on cue. Theoretically, that is.

When it's all said and done, it reminds me of what they say about people
on their death beds. Seldom does anyone wish they had spent more time
away on their job, and less with their loved ones.

You have your own mental health and financial situation to consider.
Remember that there will always be nursing mothers needing help, but your
daughter will never be 4 1/2 months old again.

Perhaps she is trying to give you a query about where her needs fall in
your priorities. Only you can decide the final answer, knowing that you
are also choosing consequences.

While feeding is certainly not all there is to mothering, I think the
basis for all the other facets of nurturing that undergirds the life-long
relationship of mother and child has deep roots in the child's
experiences of receiving food (and attention during "mealtime") in the
early months and years.

Jean
****************
K. Jean Cotterman RNC, IBCLC
Dayton, Ohio USA

             ***********************************************
The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html