Greetings,

I really liked Nikki's comments about memory being cellular as well as
energetic (did I get that right?).

When I used to muse aloud about whether my (then) infants would ever have
cherished memories of their breastfeeding experiences, my husband (the sage)
would respond that it didn't in effect matter: it would be internalized as
part of their subconscious, or their spiritual core.

For what it's worth, my older son, 8, nursed until the month before his
fourth birthday. I think he was tired at that point of having to wait his
turn to nurse after his 15-month-old brother. By Kindergarten, it appeared
that he didn't remember the whole thing -- but then, a big brother is in a
big hurry to prove how big he is, and nursing to him had become an act for
babies. Which of course he is wont to remind his younger brother, who, at
nearly 5 1/2, still adores his "serum" which comes from those wonderful
"Vera sisters." (I did ask older son what he remembers about nursing, and he
replied,"I really don't remember anything except the sweet taste.")

As far as the dependence issue, which Jeanne wondered about in her only son,
my feeling is that this is a moot point, whether in boys or girls.
Temperament will always be particular to individuals: clingy kids are clingy
whether bf or not, though to me ultimately a clingy or more dependent child
can only be helped to gain confidence by the nurturing and respect inherent
in bf until child-led weaning occurs. The need to worry about pressure to
have an independent boy - or girl - at 2,3, or even 5 years is to me a sad
commentary on modern society. Even the most intuitive amongst us, I guess,
need to be reassured that intuitive mothering (and fathering) of our
children is the foundation of the human condition. And breastfeeding our
children until their need is outgrown is the essence of that foundation.

Sorry this is so long!

Warmly,
Marjorie Vera
LLLL, Brooklyn, NY

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