Re: Rachel wrote:

"Date:    Sun, 23 Jul 2000 23:45:03 +0200
From:    Rachel Myr <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: newborn losing weight
Could this baby be having a grief reaction?  If so, could the parents
help
by acknowledging that and letting the baby know they aren't blaming her
for
the death of the other twin, that they really want her all the more and
hope
she feels welcome?
I realize this may sound flaky, but I really think it is worth
considering"

- Rachel, this doesn't sound flaky to me; it sounds very sensitive and
perceptive. I have had people tell me amazing things their children have
said about dreams or memories that seem to originate in the womb. After
my most recent miscarriage, I went through a terrible bout of ppd, had
counselling, etc. What really helped was for us to do a ceremony. We
drew from my husband's traditions, but whatever the mother feels is
appropriate would do. Losses in pregnancy are so often not acknowledged
that it is hard to grieve them. The mother needs to talk to the baby
about the baby's twin. When the baby becomes verbal, this will also be
important. Meanwhile, somebody should be talking to them both and
helping them to find a way to honour this life that was lost.
Jo-Anne

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