As usual, Morgan you say it so much more succinctly than i can manage.. and perhaps if feels like i'm beating a dead horse but I do think that this is important to discuss and challenge because it's so important to sustainable breastfeeding for many babies... but also for healthy babies in general///
This is a paradigm shift as they say... from parenting style and lifestyle choice to biological neccessity.. and that is why i don't worry about presenting to mother this information.... just like i wouldn't worry about presenting in an antenatal class the risks of formula milk.
I understand where Gina is coming from... I too live in the same culture of the Type A Mom ... but again, why protect mothers from the truth? i don't think i turn mothers off when i tell them that their baby wants them 24 hours day for homeostasis.... for many of them this is a relief to finally understand why their 6 week old baby cries every time they put them down... and once they understand the biological needs of their infant they're usually more than eager to learn about safe co-sleeping, slings to use etc... many of these moms will not be co-sleeping and baby-wearing in 6 months but only because they've usually learned to respond to their baby in ways that are more conducive to their cultural values and lifestyle... and baby has become more biologically mature to adapt to our modern world.
i'd like to say that this will be all i say on the subject but i can't promise anything... :>
sincerely,
georgia
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Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 14:00:27 +0100
From: Morgan Gallagher <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: A problem with AP
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I often have to point out to people that attachment parenting is not a
parenting style, but it is a way of describing a bond between the parent
and child. The use of the phrase 'attachment parenting' is highly
counter-productive, I've found, as it means too many different things,
to too many different people. Some people end up thinking that
cloth-diapering is part of an attached parenting philosophy! Or no
vaccinations, or home-schooling or ....
I think that's why many people are now discussing this territory, in
terms of essential biology. And of course, this now has it's own
territory marked out, as you will find people discussing Biological
Nurturing in the way they use 'attachment parenting' - a set of
guidelines and suggestions that suggest a particular 'style' of parenting.
This often comes up in parenting groups, when people ask for the best
'attachment parenting' books. And they get confused when books without
the words 'attachment parenting'; in their title, or even in the book at
all, are suggested.
Attachment is an observation of success in parenting behaviour, not a
prescription on how to parent.
If we're looking at biological needs, then we can certainly saying that
attending to baby's essential biology, should result in very secure
attachment. So breastfeeding on demand and baby wearing, is high on the
agenda, followed I'd probably say, by bed-sharing and then co-sleeping.
After that, it's usually about describing anti-attachment parenting
behaviour, not in describing pro-attachment behaviour. If you CIO,
sleep train, keep baby at a distance physically, or allow it an endless
stream of anonymous and ever changing care-givers... you are likely to
disrupt attachment. Disrupt attachment too much, you will probably
cause the baby harm. CIO, and you will cause the baby harm.
My cousin and I have diametrically opposed parenting styles. We both
have securely attached children. Discuss. :-)
Morgan Gallagher
(We both breastfed on demand and baby wore. She bought me my Didymos.
She sleep trained (but not CIO). Go figure.)
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