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Subject:
From:
"Karen Pogge, MD, LLLL" <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Fri, 22 Aug 2003 16:51:01 -0400
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Although I am an avid reader of Lactnet, I rarely post; but I can't stop
thinking about this.
I have known many, many "older" nurslings.  Some remember breastfeeding,
while others do not.  How much of this "memory" is in fact influenced by
the stories they hear, the family surroundings (ie having younger siblings
who nurse, a parent involved in lactation support, etc) has always
intrigued me, and is probably impossible to determine.  Does my six year
oold really remember breastfeeding?  I believe so, in some sense at least;
and as many other have stated, it may be the warmth, closeness and
security that she remembers the most.  She expects that babies and
children will be nourished and nurtured at the breast, she BFs her dolls
(although also wishes to have a bottle toy like her friends do - ah, the
influence of culture), and she knows almost as well as I do when her
sister needs to nurse.  (She nursed until she was 3 & 1/2.)  Kika, one
book with great stories about older nursing children, which I think has
some refernces to gender as well, is "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler" by
Norma Jane Bumgarner, published by LLLI and recently revised.
My 33 month old, current nurser (nursing as I type, through an illness
which has rendered her otherwise anorectic!) loves her "nana."  She has a
habit of holding the breast in question between her thumb and forefinger
as she nurses, which leaves me slightly more exposed than I like.  I have
tried in vain to break her of this habit for most of her life.  Recent
posts about discretion have me wondering:  Does this habit really bother
me personally - or am I bothered by my perception of what others might
think or feel?  As many mothers as I have spoken to and helped through
various nursing situations, I think I have been blind to my own culturally-
influenced discomfort!  Holding the breast is part of nursing for this
baby of mine, and by the way, she sees nothing sexual about it.
So - memories of nursing.  My favorite story is one oft told by a LLLL and
friend (Sharon, are you out there?)of her son who nursed until four or
more.  He has no memory of nursing, he says, but he does remember flying
over the Grand Canyon at age three.  That flight, I told her, was unique
and spectacular, and so therefore memorable.  The everyday act of nursing,
on the other hand, was nothing unique or spectacular to him; it was an
everyday, regular part of his life that was constant, comforting and
available - like mother's love.  And I suspect that as time goes on, and
he holds his own babies, the memories may start to flow like the milk.

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