Cathy,
Sometimes this is a great window. My "ballistic" baby was my son,
David. He had nursing troubles at the beginning and colic. He was the perfect
example of the "High Need" baby. During his anal stage, he began withholding
bowel movements, a symptom typical of ADHD kids because they are often too
busy to stop for a BM. In preschool, he was dubbed "the negotiator"--NO was not
ever a word he could handle. He is ADHD, and school was a rough deal
because he tested high, but his work ethic was low until late Middle School. Now
he is a top science student, a trombone player, and phenomenal yoyo expert.
He has exceptional wit, but his personality always has that high need edge.
Babies like these need lots of TLC all the way through, but especially in
infancy and toddlerhood. I think that most of his first five years were spent
in my arms. At times, I felt "touched out". He even had a hard time eating
without leaning right up against me .
I learned to develop more patience and breathe. I realized that routine
with flexibility was a survival strategy. I learned that I had more of
myself to give that I ever thought I had. He is now a very confident young man.
I have a basic philosophy about this-- You pay the piper beforehand or you
pay with interest afterward. In other words, strong concentration in the
formative years beats dealing with a juvenile delinquent. These very bright,
ballistic babies need very strong, sensitive mommies that can give them what
they need to function. Don't get me wrong--he can still go ballistic, but he
realizes the boundaries, and he has many successes under his belt that give
him the confidence to forge through life rather than cry or act out at the
world.
ALL babies need skin-to-skin, and breastfeeding, but those "ballistic"
babies are especially needy. I try to encourage moms with difficult babies as
much as possible.
Debbie Albert, RN, Ph.D., LMHC, IBCLC, RLC
Tampa Lactation Counseling
Tampa, FL
In a message dated 10/2/2005 5:39:30 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:
And many of these "ballistic" babies seem to be very, very smart. They
are saying "I've already decided that this breast thing DOES NOT WORK
and you're making me go there again!" Our job is to figure out a unique
way to help the breast "work" or make sense for them, and then encourage
them to try it.
Good luck!
Catherine Watson Genna, IBCLC NYC
Debbie Albert, RN, Ph.D., LMHC, IBCLC, RLC
Tampa Lactation Counseling
Tampa, FL
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