Zena wrote:
>I never *really* understood that one. Feeling a bit uncertain here about
>disclosing this among 2000 or so of my closest friends <g>...I am a survivor
>of sexual abuse.

me to you aren't alone! (Um let's be serious there are some 2000 people
here you couldn't possibly be!)

>I and others friends of mine have only found that
>breastfeeding actually helped in that healing process.  We discovered that
our
>bodies were not all bad, but could nourish a baby and therefore must have
>something worthwhile about it

this was my experience as well.  I wrote this to another poster privately
but will share it here...

I was thinking the same (especially the sex comment) but was not brave
enough to say as I am young and new and only studying.  I am a person who
was sexually assaulted, and while my breastfeeding relationship with my son
was destroyed in the first few weeks due to nothing to do with anything
other than my ignorance, I was not going to let my rapist hurt my son as
well as me and not try at all!

I hope women in this situation get the help before it comes to birthing.

For the record, I asked on alt.sexual.abuse-recovery about women's
reactions to breastfeeding while I was pregnant with my son.  I wanted to
be prepared as I had read in some book (probably WTE ;-) that women who've
been assaulted can have 'weird' reactions to nursing.  *Most* of the women
there (in their 40s+) who had kids breastfed for at least a bit.  Some said
they were in denial at the time and didn't notice a connection, some said
it was a way to use their body in a 'nice way' for once, and a few did
comment it made them question themselves when their nurslings got older and
that it was harder to nurse a child who was older (say 2-4) than a baby.
Some also said it was weird at first but they got over it.  But none (I
repeat NONE) said they chose to forego trying altogether due to a prior
abuse history.  Not scientific a study, but I found it interesting.

The idea that this should be an acceptable reason to formula feed kind of
baffles me.  I am not in ANY way saying we should just say "tough, nurse
anyway" but to just say "oh, you were assaulted, ok no biggie" seems a bit
out there.  They need support, not a bottle to help in denial.

I guess I will believe this excuse more when I see women using IVF because
they don't want to have sex to have a baby because they were assaulted.

-wendey studying lc in montreal