We were not meant to mother alone. And we certainly weren't meant to
simultaneously mother while doing non-mothering work alone, either. This is
a huge dilemma--one with which I continue to struggle, though my daughter
is now almost five years old.

My daughter is with me while I co-lead La Leche League meetings: I have
constant back-up for any moment that she needs my undivided attention. It
works--and models great things for new mothers. My daughter is also with me
when I do home visits as an LLL Leader. I am not required to do these and I
simply don't currently have the time and resources to do many home visits.
But sometimes a mother is dealing with an extra barrier to finding
breastfeeding information and support due to language, visual impairment,
etc. With home visits, I can set the rules: the first one of which is that
my daughter comes with me (with all the potential inefficiencies that she
might bring). Since she has always come with me, she has gradually learned
the skills to handle a variety of situations. She's quite a cooperative
little apprentice now. I also conduct research and I write in my home
office under the constant supervision of my daughter. It is slow going and
takes a lot of patience. I would never have imagined before becoming a
mother, that I could work under such conditions. But somehow I get things
done--and I am very glad that she and I are together.

I have a vague dream, however, of someday being able to team up with
another IBCLC/mother and do some creative version of tag-team
parenting/lactation consulting. The imaginary result of which is that our
children's needs are met, my needs are met, the other LC's needs are met
and our clients' needs are met. It sounds like a wild idea, if you are
familiar with mainstream American values and how they play out in the
workplace. "Children should be seen and not heard" is alive and well in
America. In the workplace, it seems even worse: "Children should neither be
seen nor heard." Not every LC/mother will have the autonomy to set her own
rules and come up with creative solutions in the workplace. Not every
mother can afford to not earn an income. Private practice might offer more
options than other settings. And the tincture of time may be needed: babies
do grow older and their needs do change. I have no answers. Just an offer
of support.

Cynthia

Cynthia Good Mojab, MS Clinical Psychology
(Breastfeeding mother, advocate, independent [cross-cultural] researcher
and author; LLL Leader and Research Associate in the LLLI Publications
Department; and former psychotherapist currently busy nurturing her own
little one.)
Ammawell
Email: [log in to unmask]
Web site: http://members.home.net/ammawell

             ***********************************************
The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html