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Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
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Tue, 4 Jul 2000 23:28:39 -0500
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Carol B writes:

>i just don't believe that breastfeeding in public is radical. its normal. and
>it is certainly not always possible to be discreet.

As someone pointed out, it is not seeing the breast that makes objectors
uncomfortable (angry) but the fact that the woman *is* breastfeeding.  We
all know that much more breast is shown on the beach or even on the street.
 Even if another person was offended by a barely covered non-lactating
breast in public, she would not address the offender or ask her to move to
another space.

So, discreet breastfeeding outside the home--no breast showing at all--
does not satisfy those who see suckling at the breast as shameful. If they
haven't breastfed or if they have not had a close friend or relative who
did so in their presence, they see breastfeeding as a very un-human thing
to be doing. They aren't offended by babies of other mammals feeding at
their mothers breasts.  In fact it is "cute."

I think that what will turn the tide of this private/public thing is for
enough people to see daughters, sisters, friends--loved ones--breastfeeding
their precious babies in casual settings. Then they won't find themselves
aghast at the thought of such an activity going on. They will know that it
is not about what is known as "sex." (Even though breastfeeding is a part
of a woman's sexuality.) It is simply and naturally about feeding babies.

For every woman who bares her entire breast to feed her baby, there are
many who just lift their shirts (or whatever garment they wear) and allow
their little ones to feed as humans are meant to do.  They aren't making a
statement and they aren't waving placards.  Their babies are hungry and
they just feed them.

It is an insult to the beauty of their mothering to call them "unclean."
And with the state legislation, more women are realizing this.

Women used to have to be in seclusion from the time that they were showing
their pregnancy.  It was highly offensive to others for them to be in
public is such a state! Now there are maternity tops with arrows pointing
down to the word "BABY." Somewhere there was a transition.  Someone,
somewhere didn't stay at home.

My daughters and I were discussing "Independence Day" today, as it is the
US celebration on July 4.  They pointed out that those who were rebelling
in 1776 were not the mainstream, don't offend anybody type of folks.
Change never comes by looking to see what everyone else is doing and
following along.  And in any movement there are always the detractors who
are threatened by someone's position or action that is different from
theirs. Anytime something in a culture needs to change, there must be those
who will take a stand and not fear someone's looking askance at them or
asking them to desist.

The mother who was asked to leave the waiting room in the doctor's office
may not be one of the leaders--yet. She felt weak and helpless--this time.
But she's on her way.  She did contact Monique and she did know that she
had been wronged. Those of us who are strong got that way by being
challenged sometime in our lives. Maybe we came to motherhood with self
confidence or maybe we grew it as our milk grew our babies strong.

It would be fun to see the next chapter in this particular story.  If
Monique learns further from this mother, let us know.

When I work with a mother who needs to stand up for herself and her baby
either with an HCP or a family member, I tell her that this is just the
beginning.  She will have many "opportunities" to defend her right to
mother her children as is true to her. Her baby is *depending* on her to be
strong and to protect him when his health or safety are threatened. And
mothers everywhere learn that they are much stronger than they ever thought
the could be. [The mothers like that.]

I ask them who is served by their giving in to the demands of others when
they believe that others are wrong. Are these other "advisors" going to
accept responsibility if things go wrong or if "new" information comes forth?

I love to see women who were passive and helpless grow into strong,
responsible, self-confident women. And feeding a baby at the breast is one
good way to grow 'em strong.

Pat Gima, IBCLC
Milwaukee, Wisconsin





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