I have to say that in my case, my dh, who could not be more supportive of bf
(snacks, h2o, pillows, etc for me w/ every feed in the first month or so,
etc, etc), couldn't wait until he could give our girls bottles (EBM, of
course -- he wouldn't dream of giving ABM).  He said "I can cuddle them a lot
now, but there's something so special about being able to feed them.  I
really envy you being able to BF.  It's a different kind of closeness than
just cuddling."  It was this statement that led me to be willing to introduce
a bottle sooner than I'd expected.  How could I not want to reinforce his
awareness of the special kind of nurturing attached to feeding?  He really
took it seriously too.  He'd talk to the babies while he fed them (feeds,
now, w/ Emma), helps me store the milk properly, etc.

I also wonder if in some cases (not ours, but maybe in the case described in
the original post), if the father is having the classic difficulty adjusting
from seeing his wife as  "just his wife" (and therefore a potential sexual
partner) to seeing her as wife and mother, with the sexual stuff complicated
by the fact that now she's using her breasts for what God/nature designed
them for, instead of what society's made them.  I know of dads who won't
touch their wives' breasts during the whole time they continue to BF!  Scary,
huh?  Might be worth exploring a bit more, if it can be done in a gentle way.


I have lots of other thoughts on this topic, but this post is long already.
Let me know if you want more of MHO. *grin*.

Elizabeth Steiner

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