Jay asks: Why do we women have to put
up with this sort of garbage?

Well....I can't answer that, but I can add to the pile of garbage observed.

Doesn't  it make you mad or sad when you hear a tale of woe and the mother,
far from recognising garbage as garbage, is *grateful* for it?

I have just seen the rough cut of a video I am working with in the day job,
where a mother explains why she is no longer bf.

She 'had a rough time' at the birth and very kindly, the midwives didn't
bring her baby to her for about four hours so she could rest (she hadn't
offered the breast at all at the birth).

Then, the baby wouldn't latch on...for three days. 'The midwives were great
- they had just about every midwife in the hospital trying to get him on,
everyone came with different ideas to try for him and nothing worked - he
just wouldn't open his mouth.'

Well, I can imagine the scenario.

She went on to say she was convinced he was starving, and so she switched
to formula after three days. She feels very sad about this, but feels there
was no alternative.

Who does she blame?

Mostly she blames herself , 'I sometimes feel guilty - maybe I didn't try
hard enough'. She also blames the books she read and her parentcraft
classes for not warning her 'that sometimes, babies just won't latch on.'

She has nothing but praise for the midwives who failed to keep her and her
baby close after the birth, or to help her offer a feed, and who offered a
string of different ideas and different hands....no mention of expressing
her milk, or skin to skin, or continuity of support...nothing.

The saddest thing is that this is a typical picture of bf in the UK -
everyone goes crazy for bf and encourages the mother like mad....but fails
to back it all up with solid knowledge and real change in institutional
practice. These are kind, caring, bf-friendly midwives, who really want to
help and who know bf is important.  It's just not enough.

Heather Welford Neil
NCT bfc Newcastle upon Tyne UK