Great discussion about helping mothers get started with breastfeeding.  

I have just been through the first six weeks as a First Time
Grandmother...and my observations are from watching my daughter in law and
son with new baby August Dareing Jacoby.....

There were six couples in the Bradley childbirth class.  Only Baby August
nursed immediately and without trouble.  Now I don't dismiss temperment and
even genetics (his dad nursed immediately after birth and I was not that
savvy about breastfeeding....) 

But I strongly believe that the psychological preparation for what it was
going to be like made a huge difference for my DIL and son- over the ten
years that they were together my son-having internalized breastfeeding
support by having a LLL-mother "always on the phone" talking about
breastfeeding, was able to prepare his wife for what to expect.  

So even though my DIL had no real exposure to babies or to breastfeeding and
the parenting style that it can entail, they were well set to nurse for
short, frequent feedings , to have the baby skin-to-skin, and to expect to
have him in arms most of the time at first.  

I ended up, on each visit to see my grandbaby during the first few weeks,
also visiting one of the other couples in the class who were reportedly
struggling and about to give up.  What did I find?  Parents who were
obsessed with the clock.  How long?  How many?  Again so soon?  The babies
were doing quite well.  The parents were basket cases.  They didn't seem to
have expected the intensity of the newborn nursing phase.  

And unlike my DIL- they didn't have anyone alongside, encouraging them with
"Yes, that's normal.....Yes, that's the way it often happens....You are
doing a GREAT job!"  

So my recognition of what I have been doing for 25 years as  LLL Leader is
that there is no more valuable role to play, than to be someone who EMPOWERS
parents.  In my newly refreshed view- rules, instructions, numbers of
minutes- these are things that disempower.  It is my role to help the mother
gain confidence that she can tell what her baby needs.  

Do mothers ASK for rules?  Yes.  But we are wiser.  We know that rules will
not be the answer to helping her feel confident and satisfied.   Frankly,
this is not easily accomplished in a short stay maternity setting.  So I
honor all of you in hospitals who want to help the mother and get her off to
a good start.  

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