Subject: sleeping on planes with infant


I have always used a stretchy wrap when flying with my small infants.  
my favorite is the australian stretchy wrap called 'hug-a-bub' . you  
can wrap baby so snugly in there, you could turn a cartwheel and baby  
wouldn't slip . i also found it was a fantastic feature to be able to  
fully enclose the baby in the thin, breathable cotton so strangers  
wouldn't come up and touch and breathe on my babies . in fact, quite  
often, people didn't even know i had a baby in there, but thought i  
was just pregnant ! i r/m very clearly the 1st time i was faced w/  
flying w/ my 11 wk old baby and had brought the bucket seat along .  
the angle of the seat made baby's head sag onto his chest and i was  
worried about his breathing and knew i'd be going to sleep during the  
flight . i couldn't stand the thought of not knowing he was safe and  
hearing/feeling his uninterrupted breathing, so i asked hubby to have  
the carseat carrier stowed & i put him right into the hug-a-bub . i  
have photos of us flying that way, him snug and happy - and safe ! -  
right on my chest . i even managed to maneuver the cloth and nurse him  
in it w/out taking him out . my heart just wrenches to think that if  
this mother had only known to spend less than $80 on one, her baby  
might still be here . :-(

i recall another news story where i was thanking my lucky stars i am a  
baby-wearer . it was about a mother caught in a flash flood while  
wearing her baby in a sling of some type .  she was swept away but  
both she and baby survived because the baby was on her chest and mom  
could sort of lay back in the water and keep both their heads above  
the surface . can you imagine the outcome of the story of she'd been a  
constant carseat bucket user as a carrier, like most parents today ? i  
was chatting with a neighbor the other day and they brought out the  
bucket carrier w/ baby in it and casually set it on the sidewalk while  
we talked. every mother's instinct in me was jangling . it was barely  
40 degrees, i wanted that baby snuggled onto a parent's warm body . i  
thought 'what if a vicious dog just came bounding out of nowhere ?'   
'what if a drunken, distracted, or ill driver just swerved out of  
nowhere ?' 'what if a kid kicks a ball over here?' 'what if a branch  
falls from the tree?'  i don't know what's going on to desensitize  
parents so much that those bucket carriers feel safe to leave babies  
in constantly, but i can hardly stand to look at them .

   i am also thinking of a mother in my 3 yo daughter's dance class a  
few wks ago. she brought her brand new baby in -about 4 days old . she  
had her in a carrier and set it on the floor while she was seated on a  
couch, reading a magazine . when the classes let out, little girls of  
all ages swarmed the carrier, bumping it, rocking it, reaching into  
it. the mom became very peeved and was scolding all the girls . they  
finally got the message and kept their distance -except for mine ! my  
2 yo kept trying to reach in and pick the baby up out of the carrier .  
i finally had to put him in our sling on my back, he was so  
persistent . my 3 and 5 yo's kept hovering right over the carrier,  
despite the mother glaring at them and telling them repeatedly not to  
touch (which of course i'd already told them as well and they were  
obeying - it was only the 2 yo that couldn't resist trying to 'rescue'  
the 'abandoned' baby) . when the mother's instincts finally kicked in  
enough to tell her her baby wasn't really out of harm's way in that  
thing, she picked it up and perched it unsteadily on the couch next to  
her ! my 3 yo went right up to her and piped up, "why don't you hold  
your baby ? why do you leave her in there ?" and i realized my kids'  
perceptions were the same as mine, leaving a baby on the floor,  
exposed and helpless against anything invading their space -just set  
all their instincts off . this baby felt like a forgotten toy left on  
the floor like that, they wanted the mother to have the baby right on  
her person, like i always did with them and their siblings . i don't  
even own a bucket type carrier, my babies all go right from  
convertible carseat into a sling - so my children really had no  
experience with bucket carriers as baby - holding devices and i was  
very proud to see common sense even told a 2, 3 & 5 yo that thing  
wasn't best or safe for babies ! this encounter ended with the new  
mother telling my daughter, "she likes it in there" and my daughter  
retorting w/out hesitation, "no she doesn't, she likes to be on your  
milkies!" and me drawing her away to explain that we've never used  
portable car seats so my kids aren't used to them . i'm sad to say  
that i don't know which mother felt the other was more clueless .

my heart goes out to this mother, i can't imagine living with this  
anguish, i am hoping for her sake cause of death doesn't indicate  
smothering, but something unpreventable .

~jacqui gruttadauria, bsw
typing around my big (2 yo) baby snuggled onto my chest right now !
(near detroit, michigan - USA)


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